Faith

Faith

Faith sometimes shaken by life’s commotion

Imperative to remember faith isn’t emotion

      An equally simple and difficult deal

      Especially when overwhelmed with how we feel

             What is heard

                 What is seen

No matter what into His presence we’ll lean

      Every time in the end we will see

The pain or struggle is what had to be  

      With every trial is something learned

      Even if we hate the way things turned

What we want may not be what we need   

Keep a fertile heart so He can plant His seeds

     Always He will refine our soul

Admittedly sometimes with a heavy toll

    Remembering there is always a reason

    For each and every painful season

In the moment there can be such pain

Must ask ourselves in this what can we gain

         Divine directive

                Perhaps a fresh perspective

     At times we simply may not know

     What His Spirit is trying to show

To walk in faith with Him above

Our main objective must be to love

  

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Depression’s Bite

   Rolled Outta bed feeling a mess

   The coldness of depressions caress

Nothing’s changed I’m not sure why

I sit here and just want to cry

     I don’t get it I’m doing good

     Times like this wish I understood

         Such high highs

              Such low lows

           All I know is it fuckin blows

Not suicidal but wish I was dead

Their solution, “here take this med”

     Times like this I’m tired of it

     Always feeling like a peice of shit

           I won’t allow to be swept away

           On days like this that are so grey

In bondage from my past life’s shackles

All the while the devil cackles

    The fighter in me won’t let this be

    Desperately I search for good to see

My life has to be more than this

Daily rumination of the things I miss

         Forcing myself

            Possibilities could come

         My only job’s to do nothing dumb

Just focus on one foot then the other

Just focus on helping my sisters & brothers

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Hope

Hope

     I’ve walked so aimlessly through life

A heart filled with love but producing strife

         It was never my intention

  To be a man of such internal contention

              Peace and rage

                 Love and hate

       Can’t allow this battle to be my fate

As of now I must choose a path

The direction contrary to self imposed wrath

        To stew in all the evil done

        Feels identical to nibbling on a gun

In that choice there is no hope

I’m tired of being on that downward slope

Further and faster down it went

Finally hit the point where I’m just spent

       Deciding that it can’t go on

           Already all I love is gone

It doesn’t have to be for good

Finally this I understood

         Unfortunately I can’t go back

            But I can start on the right track

       Each decision

            Every choice made

                 Slowly hopelessness will fade

Never again to be who I became

Final conclusion, I’m over that game

      Now I know what I must do

       With His help I can be brand new

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Freed from Hell

Freed from Hell

      Sobriety is hard

           Drinking is pain

Abstaining from the latter there’s so much to gain

Can’t allow myself to forget how far I fell

I tell you what, it was a living hell

       Could hardly move

            barely eat

    Couldn’t even manage to get on my feet

       Soul crushing depression

      Manifested by unprovoked aggression

Cry to myself that I’m so alone

Obvious to me I’d become my evil clone

          Consumed with me

              Your pain I just couldn’t see

                   I never wanna go back

                       That is the fact

I must remember this when I feel bored

Still better than being ruled by the alcoholic lord

         It consumed my life

            Became my idol

              Useless alcoholic became my title

Now I’m just a guy, a loved son

Not the villain because of things I’d done

Thank You Lord that I’m brand new

This new freedom is all thanks to You

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has past away and the new has come!” -2 Cor 5:17

           

My Reality

My Reality

Facing our past can be rough

My reason for running is unresolved stuff

        I can’t do that anymore

   Lest I find myself facedown on the floor

I’m exhausted of feeling despair

Changing perspective is helping me to care

        Forced to face my past

     Only way my new found hope will last

           I must let go of what I’ve done

        Simply focusing on that I’m His son

                 I’m not hopeless

                      I’m not lost

    I believe this cause He paid the ultimate cost

        Love, not in words but in how I act

             This right here is a fact

The last few years have been the worst

The reason, I stopped putting others first

      If you want to feel free

           That right there is the key

To love others instead of you

This right here’s what we’re called to do

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Blessed

Blessed

So many things I took for granted

The view of my world was ignorantly slanted

         What is

             What could of been

My lack of gratitude I’m beginning to see

      Changing this perspective is setting me free

The lifetime of miserable knots that entangled

Where most of my life I felt strangled

         They kept me shackled

                They kept me down

Now I stop, breath and truly look around

      Pondering how bad it really could be

Easiest to take for granted the fact I can see

   Due to relationships I have blown

   I’d complain to myself that I’m all alone

           This pity party just isn’t fair

    Upon reflection I have many that care

                    Some long lasting

                          Some brand new

Remembering the positive is what I must do

            This now I see

                       I understand

It’s all thanks to the loving Father’s hand

                   I should be in prison

                           I should be dead

But I’m on my millionth second chance instead

       Thank You Lord for Your grace

              Your loving hand

I praise God that now this I understand

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Faith in Fear

      Everyday I can’t help but wonder

      Will the day come she forgives my blunders

          Each and every freaking mistake

          So much faith on her it would take

   I don’t even know how it’ll go

        Like the past

             Another chance would I blow?

   I prefer to think not

       If I had one more shot

It’s hard for me to live day by day

What’ll happen tomorrow I really can’t say

    During this period I’ve done no wrong

    Each choice I’ve made I’ve managed to be strong

Is the day coming where I’ll do something dumb?

This looming worry echoes like a sad songs strum

     I can’t live in that fear

Especially now cause I let His Spirit steer

     Every minute we have a choice

           Do what we want

              Or listen to His voice

For me I will continue to choose the latter

In this, fear is extinguished

      His Truth all that matters

Will I ever get my version of gold

I must keep the faith and just let things unfold

Confused Conflict

Confused Conflict

There’s a man who drives himself nuts

He drinks, pushes away & when alone he cuts

          Truth is he doesn’t know why

          All that it costs internally he’ll cry

Confused at why he makes himself hurt

Constantly abandons paradise to live in the dirt

   Across his chest it says he stands alone

  Subconsciously determined based on what his past has shown

     Deep down he knows it’s not what he wants

     Constantly contradicted by his ridiculous stunts

Desperate for peace he much desires freedom

Perplexed why contrary he always chooses Edom

       Always giving up his birth right

      Just for temporary things that’r in sight

          Why can’t he just stop

          At this his mind spins like a top

               It’s not a lack of desire

                  Which inside burns like a fire

It’s something broken yet unknown

He knows this based on what his past life has shown

     Desperately he continues to look

     This malady his entire life it had took

Exhausted of fighting he finally lays down his sword

He dropped to his knees and he turned to the Lord

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Letting Go

Letting Go

So difficult with a mind that always runs

Fueling this spinning, my daughters & sons

      Missing my wife

          Grieving my lost life

    Knowing I gotta let the past go

    All I have is today to let the Spirit flow

Every choice right now alters the outcome

Being vigilant to not do something dumb

       Waves of desperation and fear

   I must push them away and just let God steer

    Releasing my grip from my life’s wheel

    Regardless of how worried or scared I feel

Remind myself right now’s all I got

Focusing on this truth is my one and only shot

    A life of something beautiful and good

    Futily wishing years ago I understood

Accepting what’s done can’t be undone

Brokenly I kneel at the feet of the Son

     I’m lost Lord

         I’m coming unglued

I’m exhausted being such a self destructive dude

    “You’re doing it My child”

        “Continue to let go of a past defiled”

“Never give up on letting go”

“Eventually the dreams you dream in your life I will show”

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Revelation

Revelation

 Not focusing that my life is in ruin

Concentrating on the positive I’m doing

      Nothing monumental or grand

     Every day,each decision learning to be a man

        Shown in action by each choice

        Not empty promises conveyed by my voice

    Doing good, doing right everyday

    Simply enough keeps my chaos at bay

Trying to understand why self destruction held me so tight

    With everyone, but mostly me I would fight

        Such past tramas and pain in tow

        Little by little learning to let those things go

Self imposed shackles that kept me down

Living my life with a somber tattooed frown

          It’s no way to live

               To simply exist

In my life so many beautiful things missed

              The growth of my kids

                  The embrace of my wife

Because of my doing it’s been a miserable life

      Worst part I’ve been given so many blessings

      No matter how good I’d continue my stressing

         Once upon a time I literally had my dream

       It didn’t stop my discontented stream

               I had it all

It didn’t matter, further and further I’d fall

Now that everything is gone I finally see

    It’s because I couldn’t forgive myself

        That’s why I never felt free

Written by: Justin Ludwig

New Path

New Path

       Reconnection with Keegan

                 It fills my heart

Far too long my illness kept us apart

  Wake up to a text simply saying “good job dad”

   Instantly dissolved me feeling so sad

I’m no fool, I got a long way to go

These random blessings Holy Spirit does show

     “Justin keep on this path”

     “you don’t have to suffer in that brutal aftermath”

     “I can change it all, you just remain willing”

     “I will continue with my Holy Spirit’s filling”

In days prior I was blind, unable to see

That it is possible, He can & will set me free

   Day by day such downs and ups

I just must choose none of those things that corrupts

    My life, mind, body and spirit

    Accepting it’s OK not to know, I don’t need to fear it

    Simply embracing these new connections

Avoiding my sick minds destructive dissections

     Always expecting the worst

     This self fulfilling prophecy has always been my curse

Finally ready to do something new

One foot in front of the other is all I must do

Written by: Justin Ludwig

    

God’s Loving Reminder

God’s Loving Reminder

When I heavily began to lose hope

God seems to look at me, smile & say “nope”

    “My child, don’t forget who I Am”

       ” I Am the God who can”

           “I can heal”

               ” I can restore “

“Stay on My path and I can reconcile what you adore “

      “your kids”

           “your wife”

             “Everything good lost in your life”

“I can and will heal your inner strife”

       “At times it will be hard”

        “My process sometimes will hurt”

“Because I Am scrubbing you clean from a lifetime of dirt”

     “Don’t think too much”

        “Just trust Me”

“Follow and obey My voice & one day you’ll see”

    Holy Spirit reminded me of this today

    No matter what on His path I must stay

         This reminder I NEEDED to hear

      As soon as I heard Him I shifted gears

My faith in Him I won’t let go or release

His voice, this reminder gave me peace

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Self Love

Self Love

Self love has always been a mystery to me

Perhaps from past tramas I had to experience and see

     Intellectually I know it’s the key

     The blurry reality that can set me free

           How do I let go

           Simply to let the real me show

   Not the mask of indifference

       Or a smoke screen that I don’t care

              The love I have for others with myself I need to share

        If this enigma I cannot solve

        All that’ll happen is I’ll continue to dissolve

            I have a big heart

                I care about you

     But when it comes to myself I just don’t know what to do

       From regret to self hatred I’m desperate to be free

       Daily prayers that one day I will see

To awknowledge that I’m worthy of love

This wisdom I seek can only come from above

    To truly believe that I am a new man

    This the only way I believe that I can

On the surface it sounds so damn easy

When I think of self compassion truly it makes me feel queezy

    This is my journey

         The road that I am on

To find that self love & all self loathing be gone

    Is it possible,  I honestly don’t know

    But what I do know is the past I must let go

          I’m determined to experience this

So no longer self love am I condemned to continue to miss

    Is this possible, I really don’t know

This hope I seek, I guess only time will show

Written by: Justin Ludwig

My Call

My Call

 Admittedly my life right now is not great

 I must remain grateful for its current state

    Happy for the progression 

    Beats the heck outta painful regression

         The healing is painfully slow

         Accepting that that’s just how it’ll go

     True healing takes time

     Knowing at times it’s sour as a lime

This is the reason I love to write

It fights off the unknown future’s fright

         No matter what may come

         Reminding myself to not do something dumb

             Something impulsive

                  Something destructive

Making each decision something constructive

Always actions of love, even if small

      This is why I’m here

           This is my call

Life’s not about me but serving you

This right here is what I’m called to do

Written by: Justin Ludwig

     

      

Action

Action

    I tried to do it on my own

    Big shock, I ended up completely alone

Intellectually I knew God was with me

My solitude blinded me so His presence I couldn’t see

        I couldn’t hear Him

                 I couldn’t feel Him

    Day by day life became more grim

When we recognize we are in this state

It’s simple, with God set up a date

     Open up His word

          In prayer drop to your knees

In complete vulnerablity say God consume me, please

   He will answer because He loves you

   Turning back to Him is all we must do

        It may not happen in a snap

        But I guarantee you He will bridge the gap

Then to continue to strengthen that bond this is what you MUST do

Simply love the one in front of you

       A kind word

           A sincere smile

Has the power to uplift and give hope to someone who feels so defiled

   So many people feel so alone

When we love in action Holy Spirit is shown

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Realizing Reality

Realizing Reality

     Sometimes the pain seems too great

     Truly coming to terms with your fate

Worst part is we were warned again & again

By those who’ve given up…that we once called our friend

     By no means is this a pity party

     My eye opening reality was just a bit tardy 

          Remembering my life’s calling

          Has stopped my tragic falling

Keeping our eyes fixed on Him

Illuminating a life that became so damn dim

     Remembering so clearly it’s not about me but about you

     All I’m called to do is share my journey and what NOT to do

         Don’t take things for granted 

               Don’t live for selfish desire

      The secret is no secret be inspired by Holy Spirit’s fire

Nothing and noone is willing to wait forever

Don’t be fooled, none of us are that clever 

     To hide our secrets or our shady stuff 

     When we believe that lie believe me life gets freakin rough

           But we mustn’t give up

           Due to a past life that was corrupt

Each passing moment we can turned it all around

This is the reality in my struggles I have found 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Letting Go

Letting Go

   Progress being made but I’m in a bubble

   Healthy concern, once done can I remain outta trouble

     Gifted with no longer blind to reality

      Last inch of rope seems to have changed my mentality

   Transformation of spirit, body & mind

   A completely new life is my goal to find

Holding on only to my loves & the Lord

These my focal points when I find myself bored

   What I seek; stillness, peace & hope

    Ironically I’ve found in stillness it hard to cope

   Always led myself to chaos & pain

   Constantly remind myself in that what would I gain

      Only more hurt, regret and loss

      Just a matter of time til I pay the ultimate cost

    Recognizing that I am a grown ass man

   On my own two feet is where I must stand

       Determined to follow only His lead

No longer my destructive side can I feed

     Finally decided to live my life

     Learning to navigate my cancerous internal strife

        Sounds simple but it’s hard to let go

             No tomorrow or yesterday

                I just gotta let each day flow

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Moving Forward

Moving Forward

Remind myself daily I can’t live in the past

This being the cause of my inner peace fast

     Past regrets fueling my self destruction

     The perpetuating fact of lifelong corruption

My mind, relationships and spirit

If I keep my eyes on Him there’s no need to fear it

      Never again do I have to be who I was

      This fact contingent on what the current man does

Seek Him

      Seek peace and love others

      Blessing each one of my sisters and brothers

Thousands of correct choices every single day

Will keep my autopilot of chaos at bay

    To speak Truth but always in love

    Will without words point to and glorify Him who’s above

     This is my mission, my daily life goal

     It won’t only serve others but bless my own soul

In this harsh world, easier said than done

I must be intentional to stay focused on the Son

    Am I able to do this

           I think that I can

    This is my path to remain this new man

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Fresh Start

Fresh Start

       At forty again at square one

       No ones fault because I’ve done what I’ve done

My peace, I refuse to let it dampen

In my desperation I’m making so much happen

   Reestablish RawDisciple & healing my heart

  Not to shabby given I’m back at the start

      Vigilantly working on self restoration

      Amazing what can happen in such desperation

       Remembering in my spirit God’s   personal calling

       To love and bring hope to those that are falling

          Drugs, desperation or booze

         To inspire those on a path that guarantee to lose

Transparently share my trama and pain

Completely vulnerable for someone else’s gain

  This is why my ministry is raw

  Uncensored sharing of everything I saw

Things I’ve done & have been done to me

My only motivation the hope others will see

    Living for oneself is tragic and futile

    A life of self centeredness believe me is brutal

    Such a lonely and empty life

    Daily compounding of internal strife

When we finally see we’re called to help others

Putting ourselves aside to serve our sister and brother

   This right here is what we’re all called to do

   Simply to love the one in front of you

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Devotion

Devotion

In my darkness I must remember my devotion

A commitment that must overshadow life’s commotion

My focus, I made a pledge

This keeps me from jumping off the ledge

The truth, this is what’s real

Regardless of how I feel

I made a vow to love

Gaining my strength from above

Holding fast that a miracle may come

Regardless of my past life’s sum

My mind always focused on the bad

Then foolishly vexed why I’m always sad

This right here doesn’t have to be

His Holy Spirit has opened my eyes to see

Life’s so much more than just my pains

Previously blinded I am more than my stains

Desperately, peace is what I seek

Easily forgotten when I begin to freak

Though my mistakes came with such a high cost

I must remember I don’t need to remain lost

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Gaining Wisdom

Gaining Wisdom

Everyday filled with a trial

Up to me if myself I choose to defile

Every hardship a chance to grow

The mindset that’ll determine where I go

Whether through strength or humility

This discernment gives me the ability

To gain wisdom and mature

This truth I definitely know for sure

When to walk away or stand my ground

This the discernment I have finally found

By no means have I conquered it

But little by little I better handle bullshit

Day by day I continue to grow

my objective, Holy Spirit’s presence to show

That not a soul is too far gone

Every single day is a brand new dawn

A chance to start fresh, to be brand new

With Holy Spirit this is something we ALL can do

Troublesome People

Troublesome People

Fifty but acting twelve

Animosity & drama where he tries to delve

Randomly, but a constant fight

Holding my peace keeping my goals in sight

Insults & chaos where he continues to go

My opportunity to let Holy Spirit flow

Crash course in dealing with bull crap

Conditioning myself to avoid a snap

Once a cancerous pattern of my past

I’m determined to have my progress last

I refuse to regress

Just because of this ridiculous stress

I’m proud of maintaining my peace

Though the instigating just doesn’t cease

If I learn to navigate jerks in this life

How much better I can be for my wife

God allows everything for a reason

Especially in the midst of a difficult season

Practicing by refusing to engage

Every episode the victor over destructive rage

So proud I’ve maintained my peace

With consistency, my past patterns will cease

This progress lagit does excite me

On my way to being who I want to be

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Gratitude

Gratitude

Far too rarely I say

I am grateful for today

Recognizing His presence and His grace

So grateful He led me to this place

A place where I’m hungry and humble

By His grace deep in His presence I did stumble

God’s voice so clear in my heart

I pray never again do I feel apart

In my spirit I knew it never true

Believing the lie made me so damn blue

Never again will I go back

Holy Spirit reminding me that’s the fact

Seeking His Truth and His voice

That action is totally my choice

To spread His gospel and His love

Sharing with the world Him who is above

It blesses both you and me

Being reminded to open our eyes and see

We are called to love in action

This right here gives our life traction

Love the one in front of you

Simply this is what we’re called to do

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Growth not Regret

Exhausted of living in regret

Past mistakes doesn’t mean my future’s set

All I have is today

This mindset is where I must stay

Letting go of my past

Only way that the hope I have’ll last

Question is how I’ll do this

Letting go of all that I miss

This order seems so damn tall

Given how far I did fall

I must rest in His grace

Staying grateful in this place

How well will it go

This I simply don’t know

This being the place I am in

Growing past a life of sin

Recognizing this’ll take time

Washing off my past grime

Knowing I’ll have help from His Spirit

This is why I refuse to fear it

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Connection

Can go through life feeling alone in it

  Foolishly like we’re only going through it

This though is simply not true

  Question is what do we do

We MUST reach out

  Humbly though avoiding a shout

   Finding someone

     Sharing our pain

Our hesitation is what can we gain

  Aware that there is no quick fix

   Asking ourselves why add to the mix

Forcing ourselves to seek connection

  An outside perspective giving direction

It’s up to us if we take it to heart

 or foolishly pulling further apart

    I’ve walked alone

     Boy does it suck

I sink further and further into the muck

  Once I finally stop the fight

Remembering simply to keep Jesus in sight

  Seek seek seek the connection

Changing your life to a better direction

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Revealings in the Dark

The dark path, penetrated by shafts of light cutting through the mist of the untold day.

The path though traveled often is unknown, for who knows what the familiar path holds until it is walked out in it’s entirety in the present. This reality pushes me forward; possibilities of refreshing, renewing and renovating waft in the crispness of the darkness like the aroma of pine on a mountainside, on the verge of overwhelming yet captivating.

In the silence my thoughts begin to flow. Like that of a babbling brook which seems to flow uphill…. am I seeking or am I fleeing? Does it matter? In this contemplation the tangible reality dissipates. The only illumination, hazy yellow markers cutting the darkness like that of a dull knife, still glowing from the fires embrace.

My eyes cannot help but be drawn off this path into the darkness, where the unknown spectrum lies. Blessings and monsters dot my horizon but remain unseen from this vantage.

The days is before me, what does it hold?

Written by: Justin Ludwig

01/07/2019

Grace Alone 

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Good people don’t go to heaven… forgiven people do. Stay humble and love well my friends.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works,  so that no one can boast.” –Eph 2:8-9


Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Confession of a Dead Man 

I spent my whole life taking…..

I think that harsh truth fuels my urgency to love in action. I spent most of my life serving myself. With a combination of self loathing, whispers from the enemy, and a haze from whatever I happened to be addicted to at the time, I was able to to ignore what I was, a bad person. A man completely consumed by sin.

I lied, cheated and stole indiscriminately. It didn’t matter if it was my mother or a stranger, I would manipulate them for my selfish needs, and when manipulation didn’t work I would just take. I was emotionally and at times physically abusive. I lied constantly, cheated and schemed for a living and I was okay that….. this is the confession of a dead man.

Once Christ came into my life my eyes suddenly were opened to my condition. Suddenly my heart wept over the thoughts of the things I had done…. I still cringe at some of these memories that I used to be okay with… I cringe at the thought that I was even okay with it. I suddenly was unable to bear the sight of my selfishness, my destructiveness….my sinfulness.

These thoughts of my past didn’t and don’t make me feel ashamed, because I am brand new. All of a sudden I had a desire to love…. to go out of my way for strangers and a need to want to make people’s lives better, not worse.

This is what God does to every single heart He touches. God is love, and when He touches us, we can’t help but respond.

Be the blessing and love well, because when we love God is present. God bless

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”
-1 John 4:12

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” -1 John 4:8

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone and the new is here.”- 2 Cor 5:17

Written by: Justin Ludwig

How Can a Good God Let so Many Bad Things Happen?

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How can a good God let so many bad things happen?

This is probably one of the most common questions I have heard from not just non believers but believers as well. There is an answer to this question and I wanted to share it in the hopes that it will give someone a response when they are asked… or perhaps you are wondering this yourself. When we as Christians are asked such questions it is important for us to be prepared to defend what we believe with love and respect. (1 Peter 3:15)

The answer is this, God gave us free will because He desires a love relationship with us, that’s it. It says in 1 John 4:8 that “God is love”…. everything God desires for us and from us is all rooted in love.

Without evil, one cannot choose good. To make us incapable of choosing evil, God would have to eliminate free will. If He eliminated the ability to choose then we would be incapable of love….and love is everything God wants from us.

So the question is why could God let this happen…. He wanted us to simply choose to love Him. Our choices as humans have brought us to this point, not God. Men chose evil over love, but they have the choice. This is a hard truth because what this means is that the innocent suffer right along with the evil….so many specific and personal scenarios, it doesnt seem fair. But we have to choose what we believe, God is either good or He isn’t.

Choose love, because it’s the entire point. Choose to trust Him, because He is trustworthy.

Be blessed and love well.

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”  Peter 3:15

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” -1 John 4:8


Written by: Justin Ludwig

Only Jesus Satisfies 

I have chased a fix my whole life. From drugs, women to cutting myself, you name it. My whole life I was longing for something…. maybe some of you can relate. I didn’t feel right…  there was something missing and I just couldn’t satisfy that longing….. I didn’t know what it was that was missing, so I searched, and it damn near killed me

On my journey looking to fill an emptiness I didn’t understand, I discovered the Truth. And the truth is what I was longing for was God, and I didn’t even know it. In fact Jesus was the last thing I thought I wanted.

I have lived a crazy life; experienced the spectrum of emotions, highs and lows to a sickening degree and I am here to tell you that there is no better high….no experience greater than being in His presence and feeling His love. I’ve chased every fix and Jesus is the only thing that truly satisfies.

Don’t let the enemy deceive you… don’t let the illusion of worldly satisfaction distract you, it’s all a lie. Chase Jesus with everything you are and you will see for yourself.

He will complete you in ways you didn’t think possible.

“For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” -Ps 107:9

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

When Opinions Overshadow Compassion

​We are not our politics, our social status or our country…. we are human beings.

When tragedy strikes it seems I see and hear countless comments of blame and claim but very little mourning for the lost of the innocent. Being completely real with you I have been guilty of this in the past on more than one occasion, maybe some can relate. When we get swept up in the politics of a tragedy instead of the actual tragedy; ie. arguing a point on gun control or getting upset because of some political move made by a world leader while nothe really focusing on the fact that innocent men, woman and/or children may have died, or worse. All the while overlooking the sheer horror of a situation or event…..

We cannot let our opinions replace the love of Christ in our hearts, we cannot turn a blind eye because it’s uncomfortable and we must always seek compassion and love over all else.

“I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother.” – Ps 35:14

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”- John 4:7-9

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” -Col 3:2


Written by: Justin Ludwig

Photo credit: Rachelwojo.com 

Choose Unity Over Being Right

Pentecostal, Baptist, Lutheran, Protestant and Evangelical. The list goes on and on…..

I don’t know if I am the only one, but my body tightens at the question that I am so commonly asked when meeting other christians. It seems to be the ice breaking question to ask someone what denomination they are.

This question bothers me because I don’t hear someone looking for common ground. I hear someone looking for differences, not necessarily intentionally but they are seeing if I am someone “like them”.

In the body of Christ we are one and when I see this division because of a group’s interpretation of a scripture it just feels wrong to me. It feels like we are saying that my views….my interpretation of the scriptures is more important than being united; one body, one church…..

I hear it all the time, christians talking down about believers of another denomination like they are fools or the enemy some how. It seems some have let their interpretation of the scriptures….. their personal views about the passage that are open to interpretation become more important than the Truth. And the Truth is if anything divides the church…. if anything takes the place of unity, grace and love then we have made ourselves more important than Christ in our own hearts. Because if our interpretation of scripture is dividing us, then our opinion or pride is more important than Christ, period.

In Christ we always find each other.

Choose unity over being right and choose love, always

Written by: Justin Ludwig

It Only Takes a Spark

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When we understand that our ministry is about glorifying God and not ourselves, we recognize that the size doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if we touch one heart through a small blog or ten million through a mega church. Through Christ, each heart has the capability to change the world, ignite a revival or inspire hope, with a single spark.

Don’t let the world’s view of success discourage your ministry. It only takes a small spark to ignite a raging fire. Continue to throw out sparks wherever you go and trust that God will ignite a raging fire.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Free From The Lies


​I fought my whole life…. 

I fought against an enemy that cannot be seen but that most are familiar with. An enemy that whispers into our ear that we are not good enough….. an enemy that won’t let us forget our mistakes…. an enemy that tells us that there is no hope for us. Being completely honest, I was losing this fight in a very real and devastating way for most of my life.

It wasn’t until I stopped fighting and surrendered that these lies lost their power over me and I felt something I had never experienced before…. hope.

Thank You Jesus setting me free!

Believe and Then You Will See

Sometimes in this life we are looking for signs. Messages from God clearly telling us if we should do something or not. I don’t know about you but I would love for God to give me a burning bush experience or some undeniable sign…. but it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes we have a hard time hearing God’s voice…. perhaps what we are asked to do seems more than we can handle.

So we wait for signs….

What if we simply leaned into our passion without reservation, knowing that God would come through for us?What if the only thing standing in our way is simply our lack of belief in that God is capable and will come through for us?

Think about it, He left the Israelites in the desert simply because they didn’t have faith. The Centurion whose servant was healed from being paralyzed simply because he believed Jesus could…… If we have the faith of a mustard seed we could move mountains….

Don’t let fear dictate your ministry, your path or your life. Learn to lean into your passion knowing that God will show up. And He will show up, because He is faithful. 

Believe and then you will see


Written by : Justin Ludwig

Remember the Love

There always seem to be sad, gut wrenching memories that come to mind at random, but not today. I stand at my door, looking out my screen. My mind drifts to this year’s 4th of July…. I had my daughter with me. We were standing on my neighbor’s balcony and I had her in my arms… jeez her legs are getting so long. We watched the bright colors in the distance and chatted about whatever goes through a 7 year old’s mind…. It was perfect.

I remember recognizing the moment as a moment to really hold onto, to savor and focus on..… I had my daughter in my arms…..How many visits do I have before she stops asking me hold her like the little girl she will always be to me?

I weep at this recollection and so many like it…. but they are mine. An extremely precious gift from God…. No matter how fleeting they are, we must remain grateful and hold onto those moments of perfection. When love is so complete you feel you may burst….. Treasure these gifts, no matter how fleeting.

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Remember the Forgotten

Heb13 3

In the body of Christ we are one. From the man in the mansion to the man in the gutter…. from the pulpit to the prison cell, we are all equal in the kingdom of God. This truth is something that needs to be proclaimed and walked out every day of our lives. Hebrews 13:3 says:

“Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.”

This is why I am reaching out to you. Several months ago I got involved in a ministry called Christian Pen Pal Ministry (CPP). You are connected with people in prison seeking a friendship, and encouragement from other believers. Brothers and sisters in chains who need our love and support. I love this ministry because it is an opportunity to remember the forgotten and shine in the darkness in an impactful way.

If we seek Truth we find Christ, and in Christ we will always find each other. I encourage you to click the link and get involved.

http://www.cppministry.com

Be the blessing and love like Christ

Written by : Justin Ludwig

Exiles of this Age

Holy Spirit impressed something on my heart I wanted to share with all of you. In Mark 5:1-20  Jesus comes across a cursed man. This man was possessed by not one demon, but a legion of demons. The hold that they had on this man was so great that he was written off by society. They exiled him to the tombs, hastily forgotten, helpless…hopeless. The villagers didn’t know what to do with the man. They tried everything they could think of to help him, then they resorted to simply trying to confine him. In their fear and desperation they chained the man down, but his demons were so powerful they snapped the chains like strings. Unable to deal with him, they exiled him to the tombs, to suffer in his torment.

Imagine this man, possessed by such darkness. The scripture says he howled into the night, cutting himself with stones…. The pain of this man… this man who fell victim to a darkness much stronger than himself.

Everyone was terrified of this man, Jesus sought this man out. Everyone wrote him off as a lost cause, Jesus saw a man who needed to be set free.

This is such an inspirational model for every one of us. We cannot turn a blind eye to the exiles of this age. We must not confine our ministry to that of our own comfort.

There is a large world out there, filled with so many people without hope. People broken, lost, hurting and alone. Those outside of our comfort zone that are howling in pain like this possessed man. How will they know the hope we have found unless we tell them?

The homeless man, the convict, the orphan…  Men and women bound and gagged in their sin, their pain or their circumstance.

I am not saying that you should head down some dark alley looking for lost souls. I am just saying that He wants to use you. Don’t be afraid or over think how what you should do. With a single smile or a word said from love, the Holy Spirit is capable of changing the heart and life of a person otherwise hopeless.

Jesus has called us not to stand on the sidelines, but to roll up our sleeves and love the unlovable. It is our responsibility to remember the forgotten and give hope to the hopeless, in Jesus name.

 

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matt 28:19

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Love Never Fails

​Sometimes I feel like I may disappear….

Lost in the shuffle of the same papers since the fall

Accumulation…..

    gain and accomplishment

     again and again

Lost like a whisper in the wind

  Hypothetical memories torn and tattered 

  Like the faded memories on life support in a wallet

  Love…..

   It carries forward 

     A force that cannot be contained 

by the tangible or even the rational 

      …..it the darkness we cry

     In the darkness it screams 

     Love never fails

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

  

We All Have a Story, Here’s Mine

Jesus Pic

For as long as I can remember I was unhappy. No matter what I would do or what I would experience nothing ever seemed to take that empty hopeless feeling away. Which is probably the reason why I turned to drugs and alcohol at such a young age. I had found my place in this world, and that was tucked away, disconnected and simply trying to escape from how much it hurt to simply be alive. I won’t go into all of the details of how my life fell apart, but my addiction and self destruction cost me everything. Once my wife and kids left me I made a decision to handle the situation the only way I knew how. I was going to go on one last insane run and just hope that it killed me so I could just be done with all of the sadness.

I remember when I made that depressing decision. I said a prayer to a God I didn’t know and I told Him I didn’t expect Him to help me. I knew He felt the same way about me that I did. That it was my fault and I didn’t deserve saving. I remember thinking, “Who am I to ask for help, I deserve all of this.”

The days rolled on, chaos overlapping chaos until the pain and despair was all that I could see. I had receded into the shadows with no thought of making a change for the better… I had truly given up on myself and there was nothing stopping me from completing my lifelong run of self destruction.

Then one night like every other night I was driving. I looked in my rear view mirror to the twinkling of flashing red and blue lights. I received a 4th DUI which landed me with a felony on top of everything else that was going on in my life. I had no clue, but when that squad car door slammed shut, I had begun down a road that was going to change everything. That felony left me with two choices; I could do a year in state prison or I could go into some program called Teen Challenge.

Repeating similar patterns I decided to take the easy way out and go into the program. My plan was to do my time, play the part and get my felony taken care of so I could go back to my so called life. A month or so into this year long discipleship I was sitting in a worship service scanning my bible. I was just killing time more than anything else and my eyes focused on a single verse. I stared at it and unintentionally I muttered it outloud, “Be still, and know that I am God.” 

It was such a comforting statement….I just couldn’t understand why.

So I began to pay attention. I began to learn of a God so different from what I had thought I knew. A God not of condemnation but of neverending love and patience for me, for us. Not disgusted or angry with me like I once thought. Being a father myself, the love of a Father on the divine level really intrigued me and drew me in. Not being able to fathom how much God loves us opened my mind to the infinite.

Through that year with everything that I learned I was convinced. This sounds like a strange way of describing it, but I am a skeptical person by nature. The presence of the Holy Spirit was undeniable. But all of the study, teaching and experience that I was exposed to there showed me that our faith is not a fairy tale, that it’s real.

I graduated in 2013 and immediately got plugged into a local church which is my home church today. I joined a small group to get me plugged in, which evolved into me being the facilitator of an ongoing weekly small group so diverse and loving that my faith and love can’t help but continue to grow. In the last several years God had placed me and used me in ways I never would have dared dream.

I love to tell my story because looking back is when my faith is strengthened. When I am reminded that if all of those horrible,….just terrible, painful things didn’t happen to me, I never would have gotten to where I am at today. Each piece of the puzzle fitting perfectly into place. And when I recognize that God’s plans are so far beyond anything I can anticipate, understand or predict, I will be able to to remember…. to have the wisdom, “To simply be still, and know that He is God.”

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God” Ps.46:10

Written By: Justin Ludwig

Every Response Matters

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I read the comments on Facebook and see Christians spewing hate in response to non believers automatic assumptions that Christians are judgmental hypocrites…..I read these things and my stomach tightens.

We as believers either cast doubt in the minds of the scoffer or we reinforce their views of Jesus and believers. We cannot let our pride pervert our ministry.

We are promised that we will be hated because of the name of Christ. So we must expect it and respond with the unexpected, love.

Be the blessing and represent Him well.


Written by: Justin Ludwig

​imageI find it so incredible how the Spirit speaks to us. I was walking into work this morning and as I am walking up the stairs, I dropped my keys. As soon as I heard them hit the ground I froze. I heard something, it was an almost audible voice in my head saying,

“You are not immune.”

I kid you not, I stood there for atleast a minute, staring at those keys, mumbling to myself, “I am not immune.”  It didn’t hit me right away, but about an hour into work it clicked and I understood what He was showing me.

For as long as I can remember, every time I would see someone drop something, I would  joke in my head that if I was holding it, I wouldn’t of dropped it. It’s silly I know, but what can I say, I’m weird. And when those keys hit the floor, with that joke as far from my mind as could be, I found myself recognizing that even I couldn’t stop myself from letting those keys drop out of my hand. Which guided my thoughts to a verse.

“Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.” -Psalms 26:2

That’s when I realized that the Spirit was both reminding and warning me about the severity of my condition. The bottom line is that I/we have a sinful, selfish and destructive heart. As a human we were just born with this sinful condition, passed down through Adam, and we will remain that way until we are glorified with Him.

There are so many things deep within me that can throw me off track in my walk with Christ. Selfish, sinful motives….my pride. Dare I say unintentional distortion of God’s word. Perhaps from past hurts or points of view that had been ingrained into me since birth. We all have things like this. If we didn’t then there would be no need for a Savior.

What the Spirit was reminding me was that if I don’t remain vigilant with the knowledge that I am not immune to this sin condition…. That if I am not vigilant in inspecting myself against the word of God daily, then I will surely become one of those Christians who lost their way.

I am not talking about the ones who turned away from God. I am talking about those who still truly believe that they are perfectly in God’s will, but their sin has changed their path. Their pride skewing their perceptions and intentions … and they just can’t see it.

Before we know it, we have become modern day Pharisees, proclaiming God’s greatness for our own glory.

Until we are face to face with Christ we are at war. With the powers of darkness and with the darkness within ourselves, and they both seek to destroy us. We must remain vigilant, humble, and seek His face, always

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Photo from: Google Images

Jesus Will Light Our Way

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The Spirit is always speaking to us, and if we are in tune with Him, the seemingly trivial events of our day to day life have the ability to reveal to us His truth. With that said I wanted to share a quick story with all of you.

Almost every morning when I get to work it is the same thing. I lock up my bike, I walk into my building and head to the bathroom to get myself situated to start my day. I open the door to the bathroom and walk in, expecting the motion sensor to see me as I enter and automatically turn the light on, and every morning I walk in, and that stupid light doesn’t turn on. I make it around 4 steps in complete darkness, waiting for something to happen, but nothing does. I guess I assume if I walk a little further or move enough the light will click on. Every morning it is not until either I simply turn towards the sensor, or reach out and almost touch it that the lights turn on and I am able to see.

I always laugh at myself and think,”Damn Justin, how many times are you going to do this? You know what will turn the light on, So just do that fool!” This is the Spirit’s almost daily reminder for me. Pointing out how ridiculous it is for me to stumble around in the darkness trying to figure things out for myself, instead of doing what I know will work, and that is simply to turn to Him to illuminate the way.

I smile every time I turn around and that light clicks on, because I have been guilty of this in my walk with Christ on way more than one occasion. I’m sure all of you can relate. We know what we are supposed to do, but for some reason, even though we know that God will help us and make things clear for us, we still sometimes insist on fumbling around in the dark, hoping the light will just turn on and show us what to do or where to go.

God is always right there, waiting for us to turn to Him, so He can shine in our lives.

Write this truth on the tablet of your heart. Accept His offer of love and guidance and seek Him in everything you do, especially in the trivial, and He will light your way.

 

“But in their distress they turned to the Lord God of Israel, and they sought Him, and He let them find Him.”-2 Chronicles 15:4

“Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually.” -1 Chronicles 16:11

“I keep my eyes always on the Lord.  With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” -Psalm 16:8

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” -James 1:5

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” -Psalm 119:105

 

Written by : Justin Ludwig

I want to Share Your Experiences with God

Recently I have created a Facebook page which has the same mission as my blog, which is to glorify Christ. I wanted to reach more people and I felt this was a way to do it.

It has been a blessing so far knowing I am reaching so many more people to share about the awesomeness of God. If you have a powerful testimony or have a writing that glorifies Christ, inspires hope or even a vulnerable encounter you have had with Him that you feel needs to be heard, I am offering you a chance to be heard by more people. No tricks, you get all credit… I just want to glorify God.

I can’t assure that I will use every one I receive but I want to share other peoples stories and experiences, not just my own. If you want to look up my page before you send me a piece just search “RawDisciple Ministries”

I feel this is an opportunity for you to get your voice heard by more people and help me share about Christ. If you are led, send the link, to rawdiscipleship4u@gmail.com

Justin Ludwig 

Victorious Surrender 

I fought my whole life…. I fought against an enemy that cannot be seen but that most are familiar with. An enemy that whispers into our ear that we are not good enough….. an enemy that won’t let us forget our mistakes…. an enemy that tells us that there is no hope for us. Being completely honest, I was losing this fight in a very real and devastating  way most of my life.

It wasn’t until I stopped fighting and surrendered that these lies lost their power over me and I felt something I had never experienced before…. hope.

Thank You Jesus setting me free! 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Watch “Teen Challenge Creation Skit” on YouTube

I came across a video from when I was in the Teen Challenge on the Drama Team. We would go to churches and schools, perform and then share of the power of God in our hopeless situations to inspire hope.

Sharing our hope is what we are called to do…. no matter what it may look like.

Teen Challenge 2013 Drama Team- “Creation Skit” (Me)

Justin Ludwig

Friends Of Angels -Autism Ministry

Friends of Angels (FOA) is a ministry in the Los Angeles area focused on serving families with children who have autism. This ministry was birthed by a member of Journey South Bay Church who has a child with autism. Once a year, in June, the Friends of Angels Ministry holds a weekend retreat at Pilgrim Pines Camp where the parents and children are invited to enjoy the beautiful and serene mountains of Yucaipa, California. They have a number of prescreened volunteers who will watch over the children throughout the weekend in order to give the parents an opportunity to have a weekend to rest and relax. A number of activities and events are available for both the children and the parents.  From guest speakers to quiet beds to sleep the day away, the choice is yours!

I participated in this ministry as a volunteer back in June of 2015 and since it was such an awesome experience, I will be participating again this year. If you are a parent with a child with autism or know someone who is, I urge you to check this out because it is such an awesome experience for everyone involved.

If you don’t know anyone affected by autism, but you want to get further information on how to volunteer or get involved, please check out the FOA website and see how to get started. If you live in the South Bay area, this ministry is in action every Sunday at my home church, Journey South Bay in Redondo Beach, CA. There is a Sunday school service specifically for autistic children and young adults so the families are able to be blessed by the service while knowing their children or loved ones are well taken care of. Whether a family comes to mind, or you suddenly feel like you want to volunteer, I urge you not to hesitate and reach out through one of these links. Be the blessing and love in action.

http://www.friendsofangels.org/

http://www.journeysouthbay.org/

rawdiscipleship4u@gmail.com

 

Called to Love in Action

“Dear children, let us not love in word or speech, but with action and in truth.” -1 John 3:18

God has called each of us to love. The love that God desires from us is not a feeling or an emotion. It is a call to a action. It is a call to put the needs of others before our own, especially when we don’t feel like it. There is a whole world out there of broken souls who are desperate for hope, for love….for Jesus

We are called to love in action and I just want to be a resource so you can get involved in a ministry.

Below are several links to different organizations that you can get involved with. If you know of any causes that you would like to see added to this list, please contact me and let me know.

This is your call to love like God desires and bring light to this broken world.

 

Baja Bound Ministries -Building Homes for the Working Poor

Teen Challenge – Christian Discipleship for Addiction

Sponsor a Childs Education and Break the Cycle of Poverty

Friends Of Angels -Autism Ministry

Breaking the Cycle of Poverty with Knowledge

I, like so many other people, was told growing up that I could be whatever I wanted to be. This is an inspiring and motivating declaration told to children to remind them that if they work hard and do what they are supposed to do, they can achieve anything…. that they can really have the life of their dreams.

We live in a country with so many blessings. We live in a place where we have so many opportunities to shape our future, as long as we are willing to work for it. Recently I have had a first hand experience that revealed to me just how blessed we truly are to have such opportunities.

Last year I went down to Ensenada, Mexico with my church to build homes for the working poor. This experience opened my eyes to a world of blessings I had overlooked for most of my life. I have always thought of myself as a pretty grateful guy, but to see these people with no running water, no electricity, homes that consisted of 4 rickety pieces of plywood for walls and a tarp for their roof…. I couldn’t help but realize that I have been taking a lot for granted..

This trip was one filled with many humbling moments, as well as many blessings. I remember looking around the neighborhood while I was taking a break one evening.  I turned to the person next to me and said, “I had no idea, I can’t imagine living in these condition”, and I began to praise God for all my blessings. Then the man said something to me that broke my heart.

He explained to me the real hopelessness of their situation. What he told me was that school there isn’t free, like it is back home (US). He explained to me that everything costs money to attend school; from books, to supplies, to uniforms.. everything. As I am listening to him say this, and I am looking around at a level of poverty surrounding me, my heart just broke.

My heart broke because these people are so poor that they cannot even afford the basics. There is no way that they would be able to afford to send their children to school and be able to survive. What this means is that this is a cycle of poverty that will never end! In order to break free from a life of poverty they need to get an education, but they cannot get the education because they are in such poverty they can’t afford it.

Think about it, these shackles of poverty are passed down from father to son, mother to daughter. No matter how hard they work, they are always going to be trying to just keep their heads above water. Generation after generation of people desperate, poor and stuck, with no end in sight.

This is why I am writing you this letter. I am presenting you with an awesome opportunity to affect real change in this broken world, and not just for one individual, but for an entire family line. By sponsoring a child’s education, you have just helped to change an entire family’s future by breaking the never ending cycle of poverty and hopelessness. By sponsoring a child, he or she gets the chance to build a future that they otherwise would never have been able to have.

This right here is a chance to begin a chain reaction that will continue to bless long after your donation has been spent. Think about it, the child works hard, earns their degree, now they will be able to afford to send their children to school, and so on, and so on. The donation you give now will still be paying off and blessing  people generations down the road because you helped set them free from this cycle! Talk about a worthy cause!!!

This ministry is a perfect picture of the saying, “Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and they are fed for a lifetime.” This is one of those life changing opportunities, and I want you to be a part of it. No donation is too large or small. This is an opportunity to be a part of the change that this broken world so desperately needs.

Please join me, and be the change that we wish we would see in the world. Below are the links if you feel led to donate as well as links with further information on this ministry

 

Baja Educational Initiative website:   http://bajaed.weebly.com/

Donation Website: https://goo.gl/BIjLl6

Facebook Donation: https://www.facebook.com/BajaEducationInitiative/

 

Written By: Justin Ludwig

Addicts Aren’t Beyond Hope

I went to Teen Challenge in 2012 and my life has never been the same, all glory to Jesus! I was as bad as it gets for most of my life. I was strung out, full of hate and pain. Thanks to this ministry and the grace of God I have been redeemed! It was all God but Teen Challenge gave me the foundation in Christ that I needed to overcome a lifetime of addiction, hurt and brokenness. I tried everything from rehabs, jail and mental wards…. gutters, inpatient and outpatient programs… nothing worked.

I am walking taking proof that no one is too far gone, nobody is beyond redemption, and through Christ everyone has hope.

I encourage you to get involved, however that looks. Be blessed my brothers and sisters.

http://www.teenchallenge.org/

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

How Can I Serve You?

RawDiscipleMinistries, rawdisciple.com

Below are three links depending on why you would like to reach me. If you would like to contact me regarding something other than these please feel free to email me at rawdiscipleship4u@gmail.com

Prayer is power. I want to pray for you!!!

Speaker- Testimonies (Free)

Fundraising or Donation Letters

Ways to love in Action, Ministries and Service

Can you hear Him?

wp-1507962515119.jpgCan you hear Him?

In the midst of the chaos, He is assuring You that He is in control…..in the middle of our very personal, excruciating pain and sadness, He is screaming how much He loves us…. can you hear Him?

I’d like to say that I always feel completely confident in my faith, but that would be a lie. There are times when the pain is so deafening it seems to distract me from hope and His voice is drowned out…. I begin to feel like I am sinking…. then the doubts begin to whisper. “God has left you”…. “you are just fooling yourself, give up”…. “you are alone and hopeless”….

Unfortunately in our journey with Christ we will not always feel His presence or comfort. We won’t hear His voice and we will feel like we are on our own. Speaking just for myself, this place can be terrifying. When my world seems to be crumbling down around me and God seems to be silent….

It is in these times we must choose to trust. These times can be the hardest for a christian. When everything inside of us is screaming doubt, hopelessness or fear. When we must disregard every fiber of our flesh and rationality and choose to trust that God hasn’t gone anywhere….. that He is working on something. It is in these places that we must choose to believe that He does love us and that no matter how hopeless it seems, He will come through.

We won’t always hear His voice, but I am here to tell you without a doubt that God is right there, in the middle of your agony, screaming His love for you.

Choose to believe and you will be blessed.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Prayer is power. I want to pray for you!!!

Prayer is power. I want to pray for you!!!

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

I have talked about the power of prayer on so many occasions. In my walk with Christ I have come to recognize and understand prayer as much more than some ritual or something we do to make ourselves feel better when we are out of options. Prayer is a time we are able come before God with boldness, openess and sincerity. We come before God with our hearts laid bare and with hope. Knowing that He hears us, that He loves us and that He can be trusted…. But if we were to pause and ask ourselves, “How much do we truly believe in the effectiveness of our prayers?

If each one of us were to take a fearless look at ourselves and ask, “Down to my core, do I truly trust that He hears me? Do I trust that my faith is for real, that God is absolutely, unequivocally a reality and when I pray it does make an actual difference?

I don’t pose this question to challenge, judge or question anybodys faith. Being completely raw and real I will be the first to admit that there have been times where the doubts have crept in…. I had been deceived by the enemy before, just as I am sure you have.

Prayer is such an intimate and powerful experience….. we cry out to Him in our anguish and we request the desires of our hearts! We sing His praises when He blesses us and we ask for guidance in this confusion we call life.

I am here to remind you that the power of prayer is for real. We are called to pray for each other and to do so often, in private and in action…..

In my journey with the Lord I have seen prayers being answered first hand. I have seen people’s hearts changed over night in dramatic ways. I was able to experience the gift of toungues, which I didn’t even believe in until He spoke trough me, all because my friend was praying for me. I have experienced freedom from unbreakable addictions and afflictions…. I could list countless experiences that have brought me to this firm knowledge that prayer does indeed work; both practically and in ways that cannot be explained by the secular world beyond coincidence.

What we must realize is that the doubts will come from time to time. The enemy is working night and day to mess with our head. To try and cast doubt about God, about ourselves and each other….this punk is an influencer of self destruction and hate and is always trying to fool us into doubting God!

I want everyone to know that prayer the most powerful thing we do. I want each of us to know, down to our core the reality of our faith and the real power prayer has. I want to offer my heart to you. Below is a link to my prayer page which allows you to send a prayer request or praise report.

I keep all prayers is complete confidence and if you put your email I will email you a heartfelt and faith filled prayer so you know how I am praying so you can see God working. No tricks, no advertising…. just love, in action. Please feel free to get specific with your prayers, because when we pray specifically, we will be able to see God work more clearly and our faith will grow!

If you feel Holy Spirit tugging at your heart, don’t hesitate. Let me intercede for you.

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

Written by: Justin Ludwig


He replied l, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there and it will move.. Nothing is impossible for you.” -Matt 17:20

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16.

We Need Love

wp-1505536933002.jpg​I am so tired of the anger and hated…..the insane political division and suspicion on every level.

Sometimes I feel like the only one, looking in from the outside, weeping for humanity…. This world so desperately needs love.

Some may scoff at this proclamation but I stand by it with everything that I am. We must choose love. We must look past ourselves to the needs of the one beside us and then act.

This is the only hope we have. We must be the blessing and help change this broken world.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

So Much Joy, So Much Pain

​My heart weeps over the randomness of my recollections…..

The look on my dad’s face when his mom refused to see him on his death bed….. the look of pride of my father’s face when I hit a home run or did something that pleased him as a child. The look on my kids face that first moment we are reunited after 3 months of longing for each other… that pure excitement and joy! Immediately my mind is pulled to their faces waving goodbye in the rear view mirror driving out of my life……such heartache.

So much pain….. so much joy.

I try to focus on the beauty but the gut wrenching images always seem to taunt them, even if only slightly.

Our lives are a series of blessings, heartaches and adventures. The enemy will draw from our pain and remind us constantly…. I know he does for me. Constantly attempting to rob us of the joy that God has given us and the joy we have experienced through our relationships and our journey.

This is where action meets our faith. God is good…. God is awesome in fact and He will fill us with hope. What we must never forget is at the same time there is a very real enemy who is constantly trying to undo everything that He does. 

This is the reality of spiritual warfare in each of our lives. The devil constantly trying to remind us of the hurt… the times God did not give us what we wanted or when He didn’t answer the prayer that still causes us pain. A lyric comes to mind, “When you didn’t part the waters I wish I could have walked through, still I will trust in You.”

I speak now from a place of attack and sadness. Right this moment I feel the tears welling up because if the hurt and pain….. but we must remember the goodness of God. The blessing upon blessing He has rained down in our life. This is how we fight off these attacks from the enemy. We must not let the enemy rob us of the joy that God has already given us, and has promised to continue to give us.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” -Phil 4:8

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Why do you love Jesus?Please Share Your Hope!

Who is Jesus to you? Jesus asked Peter this question with great passion

This is a question that every single christian needs to know the answer to…. if they don’t, then why are they following Christ in the first place?

Beyond the clichés and the Sunday school lessons…. Dig deep and truly ask yourself, who is Jesus Christ, personally in your life. This is a very personal answer because as you know, the walk with Christ is an intimate, personal one.


I hope and pray that anyone who reads this will comment with their intimate, personal answer to this question. There is no “right” answer and I pray Holy Spirit will inspire you to share your love affair with us…. when we share our story, we share our hope and we grow stronger, together.

For myself, Jesus taught me not only to not hate myself but that I am worthy of love. Jesus is my hero because he changed things in my life that would have been impossible without Him.He completely softened my heart and freed me from a lifetime of self destruction. He showed me that I am loved and showed me how to let go of my past. Jesus is my strength… He gave hope to a man who has been without hope his entire life.

 Be blessed and love furiously.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Soldier’s for Christ

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When I don’t feel God’s presence it freaks me out a little.The doubts, anxieties and frustrations intensify in these times and sometimes I wonder…..am I kidding myself? In an attack, I begin to doubt and second guess everything. This is a humbling thing to admit this but the truth is the truth. When I find myself either under spiritual attack or simply completely overwhelmed by life I try to think back to a sermon I heard once.

It was a true story about a soldier who was sent on an important assignment. He was a sniper and was going to take out some enemy leader behind enemy lines. This guy planned and studied for this mission for weeks. This planning was deciding the path to take to avoid the enemy’s patrols, exit strategies, his position for the assault and every other possible angle that could or would play a factor. After lengthy preparation the soldier was confident in his mission plan. He was going to crawl several thousand meters through heavily patrolled and fortified enemy territory to a spot he determined the best opportunity for achieving his goal. He knew his plan was not going to be easy. In fact he knew it was going to be painful and a real test of his commitment to the “cause” and his objective.

In the early evening this soldier began his inch by inch slither into position. He was rested, confident and vigilant. As the days of slow, inch by inch creeping wore on he began to weaken as fatigue set in. His stomach cramped, his lips were parched and the constant close calls with the enemy was wearing on his nerves. I would imagine sleep deprivation beginning to take its toll since he was in such a vulnerable position. I would assume he didn’t sleep much….. he was tired. When all of the planning meets the very painful reality of the mission…. this is where this soldier was at.

Then his mind did what I think most if ours would in the same or a similar situation, he began to compromise. He was 450 meters short the position decided upon earlier as their best chance of success….. this man was so tired, facing almost certain death and was convinced that he didn’t have to go the entire way to complete his mission…. he was so depleted feeling and it sounded like a good idea and was sounding better by the second.

Completely exhausted and running desperately low on hope he made the decision to continue on the last 450 meters to the original spot. The way he saw it, he had made this plan in the right state of mind. This plan was formulated after a lot of research, deliberation and thought. He recognized that if that was the conclusion that he decided on when he was in a right state of mind he would have to trust that decision. In his wisdom and training he recognized that he could not trust his own thoughts now that fear, fatigue and a dwindling hope was distorting his thinking.

He decided he would have to ignore every bit of fatigue, fear or exhaustion. He chose to disregard every shout of his mind to give up, that you can’t do it!  His body and mind had turned against him. He had to decide if the mission was more important than all of that pain and discomfort……

When we accepted Christ we had an encounter. Everyone’s story is special, unique and connected at the same time. Something happened that brought us to a decision that we are/we’re going to follow Christ. We saw the Truth and knew exactly what we needed to do….. then the months and years roll by. It seems to be one tragedy after another. Death followed by death… your children go away and you hurt. You lost your job or your entire life seems to be crumbling around you…… these are the times we MUST draw on the wisdom and strength like this soldier did. Every single one of us that made the sincere decision to accept and follow Christ is a soldier. We are soldiers for Christ because we saw the plan, in our sound minded discernment we decided to trust our Leader.

We cannot let the fatigue of our trials, disappointments, and pain lead us into believing the lie….

God is positioning us….He is using us, and if we continue to draw off His strength and persevere, we will succeed. The exciting thing is, we won’t know what that looks like, until we get to where God is calling us.

Trust in your decision to trust Him….. no matter how you feel. God is good and if You seek Him,  you will be reminded of that time and time again.

 

“Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. -2 Tim 2:3

 

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

 

Stand fast brothers and Sisters. If you need prayer to help you persevere click the link and let me pray for you.

 

https://rawdiscipleblog.wordpress.com/prayer-requests/

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Blessed to be Broken 

In the blink of an eye I am a thirty three year old man. I look over my life and shudder because of some of the choices I’ve made. I spent my whole life destroying myself and I had a bad habit of hurting others in the process.

I look back on my life, before I knew God and remember….I don’t ever want to go back to that place.

I have come to recognize my self destruction as a blessing. By this I mean, when I begin to drift from the path He has called me to, the darkness always comes back, and it comes on in way that I cannot ignore… When I am not seeking Him with all of my heart I begin to listen to tell lies of the enemy and they begin to crush me.

I thank God for my addictions, my depression and my past because it is only because of those things that I will never forget that I am lost without Jesus. Without Jesus I, you, we all are doomed to an eternity alone, without hope and without love.

For some, when they decide to turn away from God, they live a seemingly happy life. Blinded to the fact that just because they turned their back on God, doesn’t change the facts. They are able to ignore their fate because they have the pleasure of the world.

I am blessed, because I am broken

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Grace & Warfare 

wp-1509244780595.jpgGrace…. His love for us is so far beyond our finite comprehension….. To fathom the mind of God is truly a humbling experience. An impossible journey into Something so far beyond us that it truly boggles the mind.

When I think about His love and grace I find myself constrained by my very human thinking, how could I not?…. the depths of His grace and love is so far beyond any of our comprehension…. I always pray that this extremely crucial truth in written on each and every saint’s heart and that every single one of us focuses on this truth deeply and often.

I cannot stress enough that this is not me preaching!!! This is me desperately wanting every person to understand how free, and how loved they are, even if they don’t fully comprehend it. There are Christians still shackled in the illusion that they are not forgiven. They carry around such guilt and shame….. they doubt that God loves them or their very salvation. THIS CAN NOT STAND! We all must understand the reality of what we have been given and share this truth so that no one is fooled by this lie from hell!

A quick glimpse into me, I have always been the hardest on myself. I have a feeling quite a few of you can relate to with me on this. Even when people would forgive me, I couldn’t accept it. I would continue to beat myself up over mistakes, both intentional or not. I never felt I was being adequately punished, (whatever that means) so as a result I carried a lot of guilt.

In hindsight, this inability to forgive myself was one of the more effective chains that satan used to successfully bind me for so many years. I was unaware of the grace of Christ at the time but the self condemnation took me into such darkness that I had no hint of light……I was consumed by the darkness of self hated.

This is a tactic used by the enemy continuously in the hearts and minds of believers and non believers alike. He wants us to forget the fact that we already have victory. He wants us to doubt our salvation….. he is constantly whispering, because he wants us to doubt our worth based on our mistakes.

“Am I really saved?”,”I keep messing up, I must not be saved because I keep sinning.” How many of us have said or at least thought this at some point as a believer?

And for the non believer, “How could God forgive me!? I can’t even forgive myself!!! I deserve punishment, pain and every bad thing. You don’t understand what I have done!! My past is unforgivable!”….. this quote right here was the truth of my condition until Holy Spirit changed my heart, praise God!!

I am going to be real with you, my heart still aches over a time a yelled at my son because he wanted me for something but I was too busy… This random moment, like a million others, randomly come to mind…. Sometimes I shrug them off and other times they take root. The enemy’s whispers have the ability to drag me/you down to a place of darkness. I begin to feel the familiar pull of self loathing, guilt and hatred that I had carried all of my life.

I kid you not y’all, spiritual warfare is for real and we are always vulnerable while on this earth. We have protection and power yes. But the reality is there is an enemy and he is specifically after you and me. And if we don’t hold close to Holy Spirit and other believers, we will not make it!

We must know what we believe and we must know how to stand up against the devil’s schemes, lies and tricks!

This place of self condemnation robs us of basking in the scandalous grace that God has already given us. I can only speak my story, because it’s the only one I know. And for me, these self condemning whispers are a reality for me to this day….the enemy is always pulling at me. Trying to use my very human thinking against me…. and he will do the same to you.

Sometimes the guilt of our mistakes allows the enemy a foothold. We feel we don’t deserve to be forgiven so we condemn ourselves. The beautiful truth is, we don’t deserve it, but we get it anyways! God’s love and grace is so far beyond our comprehension. Be blessed and bask in the freedom of His amazing grace.

Be blessed and bask in the freedom of His amazing grace.


“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.  Isaiah 41:10

“As far as the east is from the west, so far had He removed our transgressions from us Ps. 103:12

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Our Message 

Why do I write?

For as long as I can remember my head has always gone so fast. Thought after thought and then thinking about those thoughts….. If you ever met me and spoke to me you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that my mind is constantly going… I talk extremely fast….some would say frantic.

I have so much to say and I just can’t seem to properly articulate my thoughts fast enough or eloquently enough to convey my true message. Sometimes my message gets lost in my stuttering….my tendency to talk fast can and does distort my messages from time to time. Other times I simply lose my train of thought. It is very frustrating to never be able to communicate the intricacy of an insight or to properly share an experience I have had with God.

I thank God for giving me the ability to write. I by no means think I am some talented writer. But what I do know is that through Holy Spirit’s help, I am able to clearly and concisely share with the world what Christ had done in my life. And the awesome thing is people seem to respond!

Honestly, I don’t fully get it because my grammar is atrocious and I make the most basic of errors. But through my writing, people are able to see beyond the flawed person that is Justin and are able to hear of a God so good, so powerful and loving. They are able to hear of a God that saved a man so broken…. so lost, through His amazing grace and overwhelming love. They are able to hear what I am actually trying to say and they are able to gain hope because God can be properly glorified because the work He has done in my life is truly a miracle.

I wonder if Paul felt this way? He was not a charismatic speaker… He did not have a commanding presence and he didn’t exude power when he spoke. Not to mention that this guy was most likely not an impressive looking man. He endured so many beatings, flogging and stonings for the sake of Christ that he must have looked very broken, frail and weak.

But when he put the pen to the paper and let Holy Spirit take control… this flawed, “unimpressive man” faded away and all that was left was his message.

Don’t ever let your shortcomings stifle your ministry. If you are not a speaker, then write. If you are not a writer, then pray. If you cannot pray then love. Your message will be heard… just let Him show you how to share it and then boldly and fearlessly do it.

 

“For some say, “His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.” -2 Cor 10:10

“Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? -Ex 4:10-11

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

 

Gratitude Now

​We all make mistakes in our lives. Some we learn from, rectify and move on. Others follow us until the day we die. If we take those we love for granted, it will haunt us until the very end. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you deserve what you have been blessed with. Right this second, stop what you are doing, call your children, call your spouse, and tell them. 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Pause and Bask 

Theology, scriptural understanding and sound doctrinal teaching is so important to our growth as a follower of Christ. But one thing we must never forget to do is stop, look up and just bask in His presence. God is so awesome y’all and the joy of His presence is not something that can be learned…it’s something we simply enjoy.

I hope your walk with Christ is full of grace, passion and scandalous love. Let’s be the blessing and love without hesitation! Please let me know if there is anything I can pray for you about. Prayer is power y’all and I would love to lift you up. Everything sent through this link is for my eyes only and will be prayed for by me with respect, fervor and love

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Photocredit: https://melaniejeanjuneau.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/fire-of-god-love.jpg?w

Called to Love

Every Christian is called to choose love in every situation. We are called to forgive the unforgivable and to always put the needs of others before our own….. so why is it that so many people recoil when they hear the name of Jesus Christ or hear that I am a christian?

There are many different answers to this question depending on who you ask. Some have experienced a lifetime of unchecked christian hypocrisy. Perhaps they constantly saw Christians who spoke of the love that is God and then in the same breath had the audacity to claim God hates gays. Maybe it was those Christians who say that we need to love everyone and then they turn around to hate on their neighbor because of the color of their skin or because they have a different faith. Others may simply assume that we are going to try and convert them to our “religion.” They get figity and defensive like we are some sales rep at some high pressure time share presentation.

No matter what their reasons may be, we as children of God must recognize each one of these awkward encounters as an amazing opportunity to set the record straight. Not with long drawn out explainations of why you or they should be a christian. But by simply having the heart of Christ in everything we do.

The way I see it, how could anyone be offended at the mention of a faith centered completely around loving EVERYONE equally and forgiving everyone who wrongs us?

The only answer that makes sense is that they have an incorrect view of who Jesus is and what it means to be a christian. They hear christian and immediately they think of judgemental, hateful, two faced bigots who think they are better than the rest of the world.

They simply don’t know that everything that has brought them to such opposition of Christ is a lie. They have been blinded by the hateful and judgemental rantings of people who claim to be christians but turned a message of love into one of hate…. those who stand for judgement, not grace.

The world does not understand that these people do not represent Christ because Christ is love… Christ is unity.

Gay, straight, christian or Muslim, it doesn’t matter, we love. It doesn’t matter if someone wronged us so horribly that we may never recover, we forgive. These are the fundamentals to what it means to be a follower of Christ. And if each one of us lives these truths out, people will see that we stand for love, not hate, because God is love.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Trust in the Silence 

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We have these periods in our life when our passion for God has ignited in a way that sets us on fire for Him. In these mountain top experiences it seems that every scripture is speaking specifically to us and God’s hand in our lives is so predominant that we cannot help but praise God and bask in the indescribable comfort, peace and hope that comes in these times.

Then there are other times in our walk….there are time when God seems absent….when it seems to be one disappointment after another with no end in sight and no counsel from God, no matter how hard we pray. These two ends of the spectrum are the reality of our walk with Christ.

A lot of people turn away from God when they find themselves in this silent valley period…. and I get it. When it seems like the darkness is consuming you and God seems to have abandoned you when you need Him most….

The question is, has God stopped being good because your life is in a difficult period?

The answer to this question, dispite how you may feel, is No. God never stops being good and never stops using our trials and struggles to bring about something incredible and beautiful in our lives.

This truth can be hard for people to grasp in the middle of their silent darkness, again, I totally understand it. Mainly because I have had my share of long intense valleys.

In these times, when God seems so far away, I focus on the fact that God is our Teacher. He is the best Teacher of all because let’s face it, He is God. And any good teacher wants to equip us. They will spend days, weeks, months or even years touching our lives, speaking truth and helping us in times where we feel  confused or lost. They are there when we need them because that is what they do.

But when test day comes around, the Teacher is silent. He knows that He has given you all the tools and training you need to figure out the solution on your own. If He were to tell you the answer you would never learn how to recognize it on your own….so we struggle. All the time the Teacher is watching, hoping and silently rooting for their student to really understand what they have been taught

When you are in that silent period and God seems to be absent, you must always remember, He is not absent. He is merely silent while you put what you have learned into practice.

Don’t lose hope and never forget that God is incapable of giving up on you. If He is silent,  He wants you to learn something on your own.

Trust Him in the silence, and you will see.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

I Trust, but I Worry

I lived most of my life not walking with God. My life was consumed by addiction and self destruction. The love and faithfulness of God did the impossible and completely changed who I am today. My story really shows that with Christ, nobody is a lost cause.

The things God has done in my life and my heart….the divine appointments, revealed knowledge and being slayed in the Spirit. Speaking in tongues when I didn’t even believe that tongues was for real. Answered prayers and encounters that touched me in ways that cannot be put into words.

I didn’t go looking for God, but He moved in my life in a way that could not be denied.  I can say confidently that I trust God….. so why do I worry so much?

It’s a glaring contradiction in my walk with God that I became aware of over the last several years. It’s something that I have struggled with, I am sure some of you can relate. I trust God, yet I stress over the what ifs. I worry about what’s going to happen or I get bogged down by regret. It is not until recently that Holy Spirit moved inside of me and revealed something to me that couldn’t truly penetrate my heart without His help.

He simply whispered, “Just let go”.

In that moment, It was like I was hearing those words for the first time. In that moment I felt a weight slide off as I made a conscious choice to let go and trust that He will make something beautiful out of this. It somehow made more sense than it did before, it was somehow much clearer.

It can be so hard to let go of our circumstance, whatever it may be, and trust enough to leave it completely up to God…..but He is trustworthy, He is alive and active and will show up for us. We just need to let go and watch Him work.

God bless you guys. If you need any prayer I would love to intercede for you. This link will take you to my prayer page. Be Blessed

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

Written by :Justin Ludwig

The Power of Your Testimony

Some people are intimidated when it comes to sharing their journey with God. Some have a fear of speaking perhaps, but it seems many avoid it because they feel their testimony is not exciting enough. They feel that they cannot be effective because they didn’t have some dramatic transformation, so they stay silent. Perhaps they feel embarrassed because they feel their story is no good or boring, I don’t know.

They let their fears blind them from the truth. And the truth is, that everyone’s testimony is effective. It’s just a question of who it will speak to. And the crazy thing is we never know who our words will speak to until we do it. It may not even be anything we say, but somehow by merely approaching someone, God has already spoken to the them through that action and our words are irrelevant. I kid you not, I have experienced this time and time again. It’s awesome 🙂

What needs to be realized is that the most important part of a testimony isn’t how broken we were before Christ saved us. Yes, a dramatic transformation makes for a great story, but the purpose of a testimony is not to tell a great story. The focus of a testimony is telling people how God is working in our life and by doing that we are saying that He can work in their life too, even if you don’t say it.

Your story is unique, your personality is unique and you can reach people that others can’t. We each have our part to play in the great commission and we must not be silent.

It is our personal experience that draws people into being willing to find out for themselves, then God will take it from there.

Be bold, be loving,  be sincere. Above all, be blessed .

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Silent Reminders

The darkness shouts at me
  do you remember?
….you remember
Tick tick tick
  Another day without you
Another day done
  It’s maddening
Time clicks and everyone adjusts
……but i don’t
 Covered by grace
    This stays raw
it’s renewed at every click
… I don’t know how to stop it
Perhaps I don’t want to
 they are mine
   I am theirs
tick tick tick
 I remember in the silence
   

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Today’s the Day, Seize It

​Don’t let the time you wasted or the regrets you have cripple your future. 

           It’s not too late! 

You are not too far gone, and your better days are not behind you! You didn’t miss your chance! 

Today is the day… today is YOUR day to make something beautiful out of your life. Seize the moment;  live well, love hard and forgive often. Be the blessing and watch your life flourish.


“Brothers and sisters, I do not considermyself yet to have taken hold it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I  press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” -Phil 3:13-14

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Prayer is Power Y’all! I am ready to Pray for You

IF YOU BELIEVE IN PRAYER, PLEASE READ THIS!!

https://rawdiscipleblog.wordpress.com/prayer-requests/

If you need prayer, fellowship, and/or need a brother in Christ to lean on, I am here for you.

I don’t just believe, but I know that as Christians, prayer is the most important, most powerful thing we do. To know someone is there, day or night when your heart is breaking that is ready to pray for you, praise with you, or simply be here to listen can and does change everything.

If you are not a Christian, it’s okay. I love you just as much as the Christian, the Muslim or out right haters of God. But wherever you are at, God loves you. I ask that if you feel that twinge in your stomach,  that pull from the Holy Spirit to reach out, don’t hesitate, don’t think, just respond.

Your prayers and/or messages come directly me, I share them with no one I urge you to leave your email address so I can email you my prayer, praise or comment so you know, without a doubt that you are loved, that you are important,  and that you are being prayed for. Your email will not be given to anyone, this is strickly for you, and for me.

Let me love you, let me pray for you.

https://rawdiscipleblog.wordpress.com/prayer-requests/

Written by Justin Ludwig

Shame, Heartbreak and Broken

Where’d she go!?
    choking on my heart
Frantic to remove it
 Where’s that knife?
Wait…
    I believe it’s still in my back

NO RELIEF!!!

….. guilt trips
     Woes me!?…..
          NO!!
       I only blame me, same as you
   Rest easy princess
Still punishing myself
Take solace in my devastation
    Your help isn’t needed
   ……do you hate me so?
 did all the love dissolve away?
      leaving only a spiteful residue
    Though it seems you forgot
         Loyalty
     pain
        ME…..
If change was with ease
   I wouldn’t have lost my All
    I can’t help who I am
    I tried for you….
I failed.         
……   you gotta set me free


Written by: Justin Ludwig sometime between 1999-2012

The Conflict

The conflict of what could have been

Many landmines missed

        many precious moments too

         So much anger

    So much love

   …..what could have been

the picture perfect idea tattered and faded

   Distant but always with me

It’s not her I miss, it’s the idea

      It’s not the idea I miss, It’s them

An outsider in every circle

    I….

 ….what could have been

this isn’t how it’s supposed to be

   this is how it had to be

It breaks my heart

  yet I am blessed

Written by: Justin Ludwig

We are Not Immune, Stay Vigilant

I remember my first serious relationship. About four months into this relationship she told me how happy she was and that it had been the best relationship that she had ever been in. I remember because it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me. What I didn’t realize was that that moment was also the beginning of the end of our relationship. Eight months later she broke up with me because our relationship had tanked.

When I looked back over the relationship I realized that as soon as she told me that and I felt like I had “arrived” at happiness I started to slack. I would flake here or there, perhaps I wouldn’t apologize this time because I felt that it wasn’t needed…. I had stopped giving it my all because I felt I was in such a good place that it wouldn’t matter…and little by little it began to chip away until it was too late.

Why do I share this? I share this because like our walk with Christ, vigilance is the difference between happily ever after and total destruction. The moment we feel like we have arrived… the moment we think we got this thing wired and can begin to slack off is the beginning of the end…

We will never have our sin under control…. we will never be strong enough to stand up against the enemy unless we remain vigilant in our walk and in our faith. No matter how on fire we are for God we are always vulnerable if we are not vigilant. Our pride sneaks up on us, our frustrations take root in our heart and slowly turns us bitter.

We must seek God with everything we are or we will begin to be chipped away…. until it’s too late.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Hate me if You Want, I Love You

​​I was standing by a wall before work this morning and I saw a woman sitting behind my office building. She was sitting in the dirt putting on her make up and cleaning her wounds. It was obvious that she was strung out on meth and homeless. She was sitting by the door I was going to enter so when I approached the door I turned to her and smiled. I said good morning and offered her my sandwich. She kind of laughed at the offer so I didn’t know how to read her. I couldn’t tell if she was offended or just smoked out, so I started talking with her.

She was tripping on how I had just woken up and was starting my day. She was asking me if I had my huge coffee with 8 shots from starbucks and some babble I couldn’t quite make out. I could tell she was being condescending by the sneer on her face and the tone in her voice but it didn’t phase me one bit. I could tell she just thought I was some yuppie trying to take pity on someone I viewed as less than myself. I laughed and told her no, but I did drink about a gallon of coffee this morning. In that moment I saw a look in her eyes saying, “You yuppie idiot, you don’t have any clue.” I recognized the look because it is the look I had often throughout my years of wandering.

I smiled and told her that I was stuck on meth, booze and anything else I could get my hands on for most of my life and that I had been clean for 4 or 5 years. This statement got her attention and she responded quickly, “Do you have a line!?” I smiled and told her again, “Nah, I’ve been clean and I’m not going back”, and she replied, “Well if you ever change your mind come see me and I will hook you up.” I chuckled again and smiled. I looked into her eyes and said, “that won’t be happening but if you ever want some Jesus or some hope you come back here and see me again. I told her God loved her and told her to be safe and went up to work.

I came back down an hour later to smoke and she was still sitting back there with someone else. I smiled and said hi and then went to my phone to mind my own business while standing next to them. I heard her begin to make comments to her friend about how I loved Jesus. Not in an inspired way, this chick was talking some smack.

They were giggling away making their comments and what I noticed was that it wasn’t bothering me. I am sitting there listening to her but not responding because it would have done nothing but escalate a situation that didn’t need to be escalated and I felt joy. It was so noticeable to me because I don’t do well with being disrespected.

I began thinking with excitement, “they are hating on me for Jesus, this is so awesome!” Then I began to feel so grateful because this persecution was nothing compared to what our brothers and sisters are facing around the globe daily….

I didn’t inspire that girl or have the reaction that is always hoped for when I witness, but I was still blessed because I was obedient. Our conversation could click with her a month down the road, 10 years or never…. that is not for me to know. But I was and am filled with joy because I was obedient therefore loving.

I may not have brought her to Christ but I showed her that not every Christian is what she thought, and I showed her for a moment that there is an end to addiction, there is hope and there is a way out

Don’t worry about the outcome of your witness… focus on your motives.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Want to Feel God’s Presence?

​”This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.” John 4 10-12

This scripture jumped into my mind last night and something stirred in me. If we want to feel God’s presence…..if we want to be who He wants us to be and be blessed, all we need to do is love on someone who doesn’t deserve it.

God is love, and if His love, which essentially is God, is made complete when we actively love, then He is fully in us while we are loving.

Want to feel God’s presence ?…. love on a stranger.

Be the Blessing

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Choose to Trust 

​A pressure in my chest 

 …the silence 

   It’s what gets me the most

As I blink it all shifts 

   Hopelessness and dread take form

….”this is forever”

To be aware of the lie but under it’s spell can be trying

Choose to trust…..just because 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

A Father’s Visit

​Anticipation, anxiety, excitement 

  A whirlwind, so fast

….so slow

     It’s not like it was

how could it be

     Love overflowing

  Roaring like a river

Rocks of insecurity, regret and hurt cut the flow

…..the precious moments sting

   They are priceless through

In the blink of an eye

   Silence, distance…..waiting 

The love will always grow 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Jesus Freak and Proud 

​I am a Jesus freak, through and through. What’s that to you ? 

Church, Jesus, Rancid, D.R.I., The Crucified, T.S.O.L., Jesus Culture, etc? Do you got me figured out yet?

Jesus freaks gotta be chumps right? 

Don’t kid yourself!  From the gutter to the gospel, from gritty to grace. I am me, plus love, times grace. If you don’t feel it read it again. I’m as hard and soft as they come. Jesus is Lord and I will tell you again.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

A Father’s Heart

​Awakened by my thoughts

   Thoughts of what’s in store

Do they miss me 

   Do they want me

      …..I can’t wait to hold them

So much to say…

   Ends up in babble

So much love…..

   My thoughts keep me awake

Do they know

   …..I do 

 It’s the little things

A quarter in this time is significant 

…..do they know I long for them

Hours until I see them

….. I am afraid 

   Afraid of them not knowing

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Why do We Love Christ?

​I am sitting at work, doing my thing and all of a sudden I was filled with such an urgency to write about Christ.

There is a conversation Jesus has with Peter;

– Luke 9:18-20 “Once when Jesus was praying in private and His disciples were with Him, He asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life.”

“But what about you?” He asked. “Who do you say I am?”(red letter)

I feel this question is the most important question every believer needs to ask themselves and pray about. We may think we have the “right” answers, or have heard moving or inspiring opinions from others which we have chosen to grab onto and make our own. Some can comb over the scriptures and have books of the bible memorized but have no real understanding of who Jesus truly is to them, in their lives.

How can we truly love Christ, appreciate fully what He has done for us if our faith, and our love is based on clichés? I am not saying that these clichés are wrong, what I am saying is we need to know why we love Him, personally and sincerely.

How can we fully love someone if we don’t know why we personally chose to love Him and to follow Him?

My prayer is that every follower will delve into their faith and ask the question, “Why do I love Him?”

This question will strengthen our faith, dramatically strengthen our witness/testimony and will cause us to fall further and further in love with Jesus.

Be blessed and seek more of Him!

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Seek the Lost and Love Them

Holy Spirit impressed something on my heart I feel I should share with all of you. In Luke 8:26-39, Jesus had come across a cursed man. Possessed not by one demon, but a legion of demons.

The hold that these demons had on this man was so great that he was written off by society. Exiled to the tombs, hastily forgotten, helpless…hopeless. The villagers didn’t know what to do with the man and they tried everything they could think of. In desperation, they chained the man down, but his demons were so powerful they would just snap their chains….unable to deal with him, he was exiled to the tombs to suffer in his torment.

Everyone was terrified of this man….. Jesus sought this man out. Everyone wrote him off as a lost cause. Jesus saw a man who needed to be set free…..

This is such an inspirational model for every one of us. We cannot turn a blind eye to the exiles of this age. We must not confine our ministry to that of our own comfort. There is a large world out there, filled with so many people without hope. Broken, lost, hurting and alone. The people outside of our comfort zone, so different, or dare I say scary to us that are howling in pain like this possessed man.

In so much pain, consumed by their demons…. How will they know what we know, unless we tell them? The homeless man, the convict, the orphan…. Men and women bound and gagged in their sin, their pain or their circumstances.

I am not saying that we should head down some dark alley looking for lost souls. I am just saying that He wants to use us. We don’t need to be afraid or over think how God could possibly use us. With a single smile or a word said from love, Holy Spirit is capable of changing the heart and life of a person otherwise hopeless.
Jesus has called us not to stand on the sidelines, but to roll up our sleeves and love the unlovable. It is our responsibility to remember the forgotten and give hope to the hopeless, in Jesus name.

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matt 28:19-20

Written by: Justin Ludwig

In our Wandering, He is There

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The times in our life when we feel like we are wandering in the desert can be the most discouraging. When God’s voice is silent and we have no idea what is going on or what is going to happen. We look back over our faith and wondering how we got to this place….

“Did I take a wrong turn?”, “Did God bail on me?” It is in these times when our faith is tested. When there is no end in sight and all we seem to have is a promise that He will see us through, even though our hope seems to be rapidly dissipating.

If you look in Exodus, you will see a story of God’s people who were promised freedom, a nation and a life beyond anything they dare hope or dream. God told them not to take the familiar route out of Egypt because when things got hard they would be tempted to turn around and head back into slavery….into darkness where it is familiar.(Ex 13:17-18) God knew that the road He had for them was going to be very hard and He wanted them to press on so He could fulfill His promise and bless them like He said He would.

I have come to recognize these times of wandering as a very clear indicator that God is about to do something important in our lives. When He takes us on the unfamiliar path to protect us from our own weakness, fear and doubt. He sends us somewhere where we must rely on Him completely… then boom….it becomes clear.

Have faith, He will see you through, I promise.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Love, in Action 

​When I stare at the rain I cannot help but think of my old life.

Cold, alone, hurting and not a friend in the world. Something about rainy days made it so much more painful.

Sitting behind that dumpster, my head would drift back to days of my youth. Cuddled up next to my parents, safe and secure with the whole world before me…. My mind would drift back to this place of nostalgia and comfort no matter how hard I tried to push it away.

Why did I push away the happy memories you may ask…. it’s because I had lost all hope. 

I had no doubt in my mind that I had carved out my path long before and that I had blown it. My memories were nothing more than a taunting from a God that was giving me everything I deserved…. I knew that not a single soul gave a damn about me and my days of hope and love were long gone…. I had past the point of no return.

I didn’t know that people cared…. I didn’t know that God loved me and that my life was not over… that I had hope.

There is a whole world of people in this exact same prison…. lost in the illusion that not a soul on this planet gives a crap about them.

They need to know they are loved, by God and by us, but they will not know this if we don’t tell them.

I talk about this often because I will never forget that place…. I talk about it often because the smallest gesture, the smallest act of love really can change everything.

We don’t need to worry about what to say to the broken because it really doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that our love is sincere for these people. That love is what they will see and it will speak to their hearts, I promise you that. Even if you don’t get the response you are hoping for, you can know that right in that moment you showed them that they have not been forgotten, that they are loved.

My prayer for all of us is that our eyes will be open, are hearts filled with love and that the Spirit’s voice will be heard.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

New Years Resolution? Nah, I got Christ

​Resolutions…. I hear them all around me; on television, at work, at the store. It seems like the whole world is jumping at the opportunity for a clean slate…a fresh start. They want to put a year of shortcomings and failures in their rear view mirror as they strive for something better.

I could not relate more with their desires…. for something new, a do over on some of the choices made in the previous days, months or years….but I can’t help but wonder, what’s different than any other day of the year? 

Then I think about the life of a Christian. Every single day… every single moment, we have the opportunity to start fresh.

All year long people are waiting for a pivotal moment, a marker where they feel change is a good idea. The world gets so excited because they feel they have a real chance for a clean slate.

We as believers are blessed beyond any other person on this planet because we know the Truth… the Truth is, every single day, with every single shortcoming, we are given the gift of a clean slate. By knowing the freedom that comes through Christ, every passing moment really is another chance to turn it all around.

We are free from the burdens, the stigmas….the tainting of who we are because of our mistakes. 

We are free to live new everyday…. I don’t know about you, but that truth sets me free in a way that no amount of resolutions ever possibly could or would. 

You are free!… what you do with it is up to you. 

Happy Hew Year Y’all. May you bask in the freedom of the Son.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Trust Beyond You

​You know, I was just thinking…. I was thinking of a man of faith who isn’t really recognized all that much, and that is Joseph, husband to Mary and step Father to Jesus. This man wasn’t married to Mary yet, they had never slept together and he gets hit with the news that his future bride is pregnant. Not only is she pregnant, but he is told she has been inpregnated by Holy Spirit. 

I don’t know about you, but if I were Joseph, I would have a hard time processing that information. There is no way that he wasn’t even the least bit suspicious that Mary had slept with someone else….. 

How easily Joseph could have bailed on Mary if he was a man without faith. For myself, if I didn’t know how the story played out….if I hadn’t had so many very real experiences with Holy Spirit I honestly don’t think I would have or could have believed what had happened. 

But Joseph chose to believe…. he chose to believe that God was working and that He was more than capable of doing something beyond Joseph’s understanding….. what if Joseph chose to bail? Say he did choose to believe the worst, he leaves her and Mary dies not being able to take care of herself and as a result Christ wasn’t born.

It really is amazing if you think about it. A man who really didn’t play a huge role in the story was in fact crucial to it. If he did not chose to believe God past his own understanding, we could still be living in darkness, waiting for the Messiah that was able to come because Joseph believed. I don’t know about you, but I find that very encouraging.

Don’t be fooled into thinking your role isn’t important. If we chose to trust God beyond what we can explain, understand or feel, then He will use us. 

So I guess my question is, Do you believe? 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Choose to Trust Him

wp-1508802537930.jpgThe enemy’s lies are always speaking. Whether it be a personal spiritual attack or commercials on television, the voice drones on…..and if we don’t focus on Jesus, if we don’t seek the cross…..we can never be free.

We all have our battles; some feel too much, some not enough. There are Christians who are trying to leave a past behind, while some are desperately searching forward, looking for something.

Wherever you are, the Truth remains the same. Jesus will meet you, right where you’re at. The enemy will try and bombard you with doubts, with fear….with lies.

Never forget, it comes down to a choice. You have to choose to trust God. Anyone can trust God when His presence is thick and the blessings are raining down. But when you are in those dark places, where you feel alone, lost or abandoned…. choose to remember God’s goodness and never let go of the Truth… that He is incapable of failing you.

God is constant, God is love and He is not going to give up on you, hold a grudge or punish you. Remember that!

Take heart y’all, God has not forgotten about you! I know it feels that way sometimes…. when God feels absent, and it seems to come at a time when you feel you need Him most. Don’t let the enemy get you twisted. He will come through for you, just like He does for me, time and time again.

Your hope will be revealed, of this I have zero doubts. Just hang on, pray and love, especially when you don’t feel like it, and you will see. I promise

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”-Romans 8:38-39

Written by: Justin Ludwig