Faith

Faith

Faith sometimes shaken by life’s commotion

Imperative to remember faith isn’t emotion

      An equally simple and difficult deal

      Especially when overwhelmed with how we feel

             What is heard

                 What is seen

No matter what into His presence we’ll lean

      Every time in the end we will see

The pain or struggle is what had to be  

      With every trial is something learned

      Even if we hate the way things turned

What we want may not be what we need   

Keep a fertile heart so He can plant His seeds

     Always He will refine our soul

Admittedly sometimes with a heavy toll

    Remembering there is always a reason

    For each and every painful season

In the moment there can be such pain

Must ask ourselves in this what can we gain

         Divine directive

                Perhaps a fresh perspective

     At times we simply may not know

     What His Spirit is trying to show

To walk in faith with Him above

Our main objective must be to love

  

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Depression’s Bite

   Rolled Outta bed feeling a mess

   The coldness of depressions caress

Nothing’s changed I’m not sure why

I sit here and just want to cry

     I don’t get it I’m doing good

     Times like this wish I understood

         Such high highs

              Such low lows

           All I know is it fuckin blows

Not suicidal but wish I was dead

Their solution, “here take this med”

     Times like this I’m tired of it

     Always feeling like a peice of shit

           I won’t allow to be swept away

           On days like this that are so grey

In bondage from my past life’s shackles

All the while the devil cackles

    The fighter in me won’t let this be

    Desperately I search for good to see

My life has to be more than this

Daily rumination of the things I miss

         Forcing myself

            Possibilities could come

         My only job’s to do nothing dumb

Just focus on one foot then the other

Just focus on helping my sisters & brothers

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Hope

Hope

     I’ve walked so aimlessly through life

A heart filled with love but producing strife

         It was never my intention

  To be a man of such internal contention

              Peace and rage

                 Love and hate

       Can’t allow this battle to be my fate

As of now I must choose a path

The direction contrary to self imposed wrath

        To stew in all the evil done

        Feels identical to nibbling on a gun

In that choice there is no hope

I’m tired of being on that downward slope

Further and faster down it went

Finally hit the point where I’m just spent

       Deciding that it can’t go on

           Already all I love is gone

It doesn’t have to be for good

Finally this I understood

         Unfortunately I can’t go back

            But I can start on the right track

       Each decision

            Every choice made

                 Slowly hopelessness will fade

Never again to be who I became

Final conclusion, I’m over that game

      Now I know what I must do

       With His help I can be brand new

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Freed from Hell

Freed from Hell

      Sobriety is hard

           Drinking is pain

Abstaining from the latter there’s so much to gain

Can’t allow myself to forget how far I fell

I tell you what, it was a living hell

       Could hardly move

            barely eat

    Couldn’t even manage to get on my feet

       Soul crushing depression

      Manifested by unprovoked aggression

Cry to myself that I’m so alone

Obvious to me I’d become my evil clone

          Consumed with me

              Your pain I just couldn’t see

                   I never wanna go back

                       That is the fact

I must remember this when I feel bored

Still better than being ruled by the alcoholic lord

         It consumed my life

            Became my idol

              Useless alcoholic became my title

Now I’m just a guy, a loved son

Not the villain because of things I’d done

Thank You Lord that I’m brand new

This new freedom is all thanks to You

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has past away and the new has come!” -2 Cor 5:17

           

Blessed

Blessed

So many things I took for granted

The view of my world was ignorantly slanted

         What is

             What could of been

My lack of gratitude I’m beginning to see

      Changing this perspective is setting me free

The lifetime of miserable knots that entangled

Where most of my life I felt strangled

         They kept me shackled

                They kept me down

Now I stop, breath and truly look around

      Pondering how bad it really could be

Easiest to take for granted the fact I can see

   Due to relationships I have blown

   I’d complain to myself that I’m all alone

           This pity party just isn’t fair

    Upon reflection I have many that care

                    Some long lasting

                          Some brand new

Remembering the positive is what I must do

            This now I see

                       I understand

It’s all thanks to the loving Father’s hand

                   I should be in prison

                           I should be dead

But I’m on my millionth second chance instead

       Thank You Lord for Your grace

              Your loving hand

I praise God that now this I understand

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Faith in Fear

      Everyday I can’t help but wonder

      Will the day come she forgives my blunders

          Each and every freaking mistake

          So much faith on her it would take

   I don’t even know how it’ll go

        Like the past

             Another chance would I blow?

   I prefer to think not

       If I had one more shot

It’s hard for me to live day by day

What’ll happen tomorrow I really can’t say

    During this period I’ve done no wrong

    Each choice I’ve made I’ve managed to be strong

Is the day coming where I’ll do something dumb?

This looming worry echoes like a sad songs strum

     I can’t live in that fear

Especially now cause I let His Spirit steer

     Every minute we have a choice

           Do what we want

              Or listen to His voice

For me I will continue to choose the latter

In this, fear is extinguished

      His Truth all that matters

Will I ever get my version of gold

I must keep the faith and just let things unfold

Confused Conflict

Confused Conflict

There’s a man who drives himself nuts

He drinks, pushes away & when alone he cuts

          Truth is he doesn’t know why

          All that it costs internally he’ll cry

Confused at why he makes himself hurt

Constantly abandons paradise to live in the dirt

   Across his chest it says he stands alone

  Subconsciously determined based on what his past has shown

     Deep down he knows it’s not what he wants

     Constantly contradicted by his ridiculous stunts

Desperate for peace he much desires freedom

Perplexed why contrary he always chooses Edom

       Always giving up his birth right

      Just for temporary things that’r in sight

          Why can’t he just stop

          At this his mind spins like a top

               It’s not a lack of desire

                  Which inside burns like a fire

It’s something broken yet unknown

He knows this based on what his past life has shown

     Desperately he continues to look

     This malady his entire life it had took

Exhausted of fighting he finally lays down his sword

He dropped to his knees and he turned to the Lord

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Letting Go

Letting Go

So difficult with a mind that always runs

Fueling this spinning, my daughters & sons

      Missing my wife

          Grieving my lost life

    Knowing I gotta let the past go

    All I have is today to let the Spirit flow

Every choice right now alters the outcome

Being vigilant to not do something dumb

       Waves of desperation and fear

   I must push them away and just let God steer

    Releasing my grip from my life’s wheel

    Regardless of how worried or scared I feel

Remind myself right now’s all I got

Focusing on this truth is my one and only shot

    A life of something beautiful and good

    Futily wishing years ago I understood

Accepting what’s done can’t be undone

Brokenly I kneel at the feet of the Son

     I’m lost Lord

         I’m coming unglued

I’m exhausted being such a self destructive dude

    “You’re doing it My child”

        “Continue to let go of a past defiled”

“Never give up on letting go”

“Eventually the dreams you dream in your life I will show”

Written by: Justin Ludwig

New Path

New Path

       Reconnection with Keegan

                 It fills my heart

Far too long my illness kept us apart

  Wake up to a text simply saying “good job dad”

   Instantly dissolved me feeling so sad

I’m no fool, I got a long way to go

These random blessings Holy Spirit does show

     “Justin keep on this path”

     “you don’t have to suffer in that brutal aftermath”

     “I can change it all, you just remain willing”

     “I will continue with my Holy Spirit’s filling”

In days prior I was blind, unable to see

That it is possible, He can & will set me free

   Day by day such downs and ups

I just must choose none of those things that corrupts

    My life, mind, body and spirit

    Accepting it’s OK not to know, I don’t need to fear it

    Simply embracing these new connections

Avoiding my sick minds destructive dissections

     Always expecting the worst

     This self fulfilling prophecy has always been my curse

Finally ready to do something new

One foot in front of the other is all I must do

Written by: Justin Ludwig

    

God’s Loving Reminder

God’s Loving Reminder

When I heavily began to lose hope

God seems to look at me, smile & say “nope”

    “My child, don’t forget who I Am”

       ” I Am the God who can”

           “I can heal”

               ” I can restore “

“Stay on My path and I can reconcile what you adore “

      “your kids”

           “your wife”

             “Everything good lost in your life”

“I can and will heal your inner strife”

       “At times it will be hard”

        “My process sometimes will hurt”

“Because I Am scrubbing you clean from a lifetime of dirt”

     “Don’t think too much”

        “Just trust Me”

“Follow and obey My voice & one day you’ll see”

    Holy Spirit reminded me of this today

    No matter what on His path I must stay

         This reminder I NEEDED to hear

      As soon as I heard Him I shifted gears

My faith in Him I won’t let go or release

His voice, this reminder gave me peace

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Self Love

Self Love

Self love has always been a mystery to me

Perhaps from past tramas I had to experience and see

     Intellectually I know it’s the key

     The blurry reality that can set me free

           How do I let go

           Simply to let the real me show

   Not the mask of indifference

       Or a smoke screen that I don’t care

              The love I have for others with myself I need to share

        If this enigma I cannot solve

        All that’ll happen is I’ll continue to dissolve

            I have a big heart

                I care about you

     But when it comes to myself I just don’t know what to do

       From regret to self hatred I’m desperate to be free

       Daily prayers that one day I will see

To awknowledge that I’m worthy of love

This wisdom I seek can only come from above

    To truly believe that I am a new man

    This the only way I believe that I can

On the surface it sounds so damn easy

When I think of self compassion truly it makes me feel queezy

    This is my journey

         The road that I am on

To find that self love & all self loathing be gone

    Is it possible,  I honestly don’t know

    But what I do know is the past I must let go

          I’m determined to experience this

So no longer self love am I condemned to continue to miss

    Is this possible, I really don’t know

This hope I seek, I guess only time will show

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Action

Action

    I tried to do it on my own

    Big shock, I ended up completely alone

Intellectually I knew God was with me

My solitude blinded me so His presence I couldn’t see

        I couldn’t hear Him

                 I couldn’t feel Him

    Day by day life became more grim

When we recognize we are in this state

It’s simple, with God set up a date

     Open up His word

          In prayer drop to your knees

In complete vulnerablity say God consume me, please

   He will answer because He loves you

   Turning back to Him is all we must do

        It may not happen in a snap

        But I guarantee you He will bridge the gap

Then to continue to strengthen that bond this is what you MUST do

Simply love the one in front of you

       A kind word

           A sincere smile

Has the power to uplift and give hope to someone who feels so defiled

   So many people feel so alone

When we love in action Holy Spirit is shown

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Realizing Reality

Realizing Reality

     Sometimes the pain seems too great

     Truly coming to terms with your fate

Worst part is we were warned again & again

By those who’ve given up…that we once called our friend

     By no means is this a pity party

     My eye opening reality was just a bit tardy 

          Remembering my life’s calling

          Has stopped my tragic falling

Keeping our eyes fixed on Him

Illuminating a life that became so damn dim

     Remembering so clearly it’s not about me but about you

     All I’m called to do is share my journey and what NOT to do

         Don’t take things for granted 

               Don’t live for selfish desire

      The secret is no secret be inspired by Holy Spirit’s fire

Nothing and noone is willing to wait forever

Don’t be fooled, none of us are that clever 

     To hide our secrets or our shady stuff 

     When we believe that lie believe me life gets freakin rough

           But we mustn’t give up

           Due to a past life that was corrupt

Each passing moment we can turned it all around

This is the reality in my struggles I have found 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Letting Go

Letting Go

   Progress being made but I’m in a bubble

   Healthy concern, once done can I remain outta trouble

     Gifted with no longer blind to reality

      Last inch of rope seems to have changed my mentality

   Transformation of spirit, body & mind

   A completely new life is my goal to find

Holding on only to my loves & the Lord

These my focal points when I find myself bored

   What I seek; stillness, peace & hope

    Ironically I’ve found in stillness it hard to cope

   Always led myself to chaos & pain

   Constantly remind myself in that what would I gain

      Only more hurt, regret and loss

      Just a matter of time til I pay the ultimate cost

    Recognizing that I am a grown ass man

   On my own two feet is where I must stand

       Determined to follow only His lead

No longer my destructive side can I feed

     Finally decided to live my life

     Learning to navigate my cancerous internal strife

        Sounds simple but it’s hard to let go

             No tomorrow or yesterday

                I just gotta let each day flow

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Moving Forward

Moving Forward

Remind myself daily I can’t live in the past

This being the cause of my inner peace fast

     Past regrets fueling my self destruction

     The perpetuating fact of lifelong corruption

My mind, relationships and spirit

If I keep my eyes on Him there’s no need to fear it

      Never again do I have to be who I was

      This fact contingent on what the current man does

Seek Him

      Seek peace and love others

      Blessing each one of my sisters and brothers

Thousands of correct choices every single day

Will keep my autopilot of chaos at bay

    To speak Truth but always in love

    Will without words point to and glorify Him who’s above

     This is my mission, my daily life goal

     It won’t only serve others but bless my own soul

In this harsh world, easier said than done

I must be intentional to stay focused on the Son

    Am I able to do this

           I think that I can

    This is my path to remain this new man

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Fresh Start

Fresh Start

       At forty again at square one

       No ones fault because I’ve done what I’ve done

My peace, I refuse to let it dampen

In my desperation I’m making so much happen

   Reestablish RawDisciple & healing my heart

  Not to shabby given I’m back at the start

      Vigilantly working on self restoration

      Amazing what can happen in such desperation

       Remembering in my spirit God’s   personal calling

       To love and bring hope to those that are falling

          Drugs, desperation or booze

         To inspire those on a path that guarantee to lose

Transparently share my trama and pain

Completely vulnerable for someone else’s gain

  This is why my ministry is raw

  Uncensored sharing of everything I saw

Things I’ve done & have been done to me

My only motivation the hope others will see

    Living for oneself is tragic and futile

    A life of self centeredness believe me is brutal

    Such a lonely and empty life

    Daily compounding of internal strife

When we finally see we’re called to help others

Putting ourselves aside to serve our sister and brother

   This right here is what we’re all called to do

   Simply to love the one in front of you

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Devotion

Devotion

In my darkness I must remember my devotion

A commitment that must overshadow life’s commotion

My focus, I made a pledge

This keeps me from jumping off the ledge

The truth, this is what’s real

Regardless of how I feel

I made a vow to love

Gaining my strength from above

Holding fast that a miracle may come

Regardless of my past life’s sum

My mind always focused on the bad

Then foolishly vexed why I’m always sad

This right here doesn’t have to be

His Holy Spirit has opened my eyes to see

Life’s so much more than just my pains

Previously blinded I am more than my stains

Desperately, peace is what I seek

Easily forgotten when I begin to freak

Though my mistakes came with such a high cost

I must remember I don’t need to remain lost

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Gaining Wisdom

Gaining Wisdom

Everyday filled with a trial

Up to me if myself I choose to defile

Every hardship a chance to grow

The mindset that’ll determine where I go

Whether through strength or humility

This discernment gives me the ability

To gain wisdom and mature

This truth I definitely know for sure

When to walk away or stand my ground

This the discernment I have finally found

By no means have I conquered it

But little by little I better handle bullshit

Day by day I continue to grow

my objective, Holy Spirit’s presence to show

That not a soul is too far gone

Every single day is a brand new dawn

A chance to start fresh, to be brand new

With Holy Spirit this is something we ALL can do

Gratitude

Gratitude

Far too rarely I say

I am grateful for today

Recognizing His presence and His grace

So grateful He led me to this place

A place where I’m hungry and humble

By His grace deep in His presence I did stumble

God’s voice so clear in my heart

I pray never again do I feel apart

In my spirit I knew it never true

Believing the lie made me so damn blue

Never again will I go back

Holy Spirit reminding me that’s the fact

Seeking His Truth and His voice

That action is totally my choice

To spread His gospel and His love

Sharing with the world Him who is above

It blesses both you and me

Being reminded to open our eyes and see

We are called to love in action

This right here gives our life traction

Love the one in front of you

Simply this is what we’re called to do

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Growth not Regret

Exhausted of living in regret

Past mistakes doesn’t mean my future’s set

All I have is today

This mindset is where I must stay

Letting go of my past

Only way that the hope I have’ll last

Question is how I’ll do this

Letting go of all that I miss

This order seems so damn tall

Given how far I did fall

I must rest in His grace

Staying grateful in this place

How well will it go

This I simply don’t know

This being the place I am in

Growing past a life of sin

Recognizing this’ll take time

Washing off my past grime

Knowing I’ll have help from His Spirit

This is why I refuse to fear it

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Healing Struggle

Healing Struggle

Sudden tidal wave of hurt

Momentarily unable to skirt

Climbing a steep icy hill

So many bad things I feel

Desperate to grow out of this

Simply accepting things that I miss

People that I had

Being an active dad

Things just are what they are

Seeing that I’ve fallen so far

Determined to keep pushing on

Praying for that beautiful new dawn

Knowing there’ll be days good and bad

Right now, fuck I feel sad

I must remain hungry and humble

Especially when my thoughts start to mumble

Remaining open and real

Constructively sharing how I feel

Constantly continuing to grow

My raw vulnerable self I must show

One step then the next

Seeking truth when I feel vexed

Faith one day I’ll reach my goal

The long sought after peace in my soul

My Calling

My Calling

A crossroad

No idea what to do

To get out of my head

Choosing to live life instead

Even the smallest thing

To this life what can I bring

Sharing a word of hope

Most effective way that I cope

With everything that is gone

Fueling development of new meaningful bonds

How I selfishly lived for myself

Can open the eyes of somebody else

Them not wanting to be like me

Can save them by helping them see

The path that I had

Leading to only feeling broken and sad

It brings such strong meaning

From a wasted life of treacherous feigning

I must continue to fight

Finally get this thing right

Knowing what I want to do

To help someone else….perhaps it’s you

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Concepcion

Concepcion

Lost a sister today

Making life seem a bit more grey

For years we’d talk

We’d pray

Truth, I’m not even sure what to say

We live

We connect

Then we die

Those who loved can do nothing but sigh

Deep connections through Your Spirit

Death is heartbreaking but no need to fear it

She was a woman of faith in Your Son

She’s left this world but her existence is not done

Hand in hand she now walks with You

Never again to feel angry, pain or blue

Though we weep and shed a tear

There is one thing we don’t need to fear

She is at peace, holding Your hand

We ask Your Spirit, help us cope the best that we can

Connection

Can go through life feeling alone in it

  Foolishly like we’re only going through it

This though is simply not true

  Question is what do we do

We MUST reach out

  Humbly though avoiding a shout

   Finding someone

     Sharing our pain

Our hesitation is what can we gain

  Aware that there is no quick fix

   Asking ourselves why add to the mix

Forcing ourselves to seek connection

  An outside perspective giving direction

It’s up to us if we take it to heart

 or foolishly pulling further apart

    I’ve walked alone

     Boy does it suck

I sink further and further into the muck

  Once I finally stop the fight

Remembering simply to keep Jesus in sight

  Seek seek seek the connection

Changing your life to a better direction

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Day by Day

Shattered beyond belief

 Saturated completely his grief

Brain bleeds, seizures and his burns

  What is it that he learns

There is no simple way to get out

  No matter how hard he fights and shouts

Finally he sees he had to let go

 In his life nothing good to show

  Facedown on this cold bedrock

At last receiving his needed shock

   No tomorrow

    No yesterday

Only right now, what else can he say

  So much pain

    Finally ready

Even if his hope’s unsteady

  he stands now on his last chance

Tired of self destructions dance

  No more booze, no more dope

   In God he must refined his hope

Will he win I do not know

  Day by day only time will show

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Finally

A month of nightmares beyond belief

  Finally praise God a time of relief

A time he finally dares to hope  

Immediately seems to have changed his scope

what will come he does not know

  Finally accepting only time will show

Finally with no determined plan

In the hopes it’ll make the new man

  Who will he be

 I guess only in time we’ll see

  Finally a time of COMPLETE surrender

No longer does he have to be the defender

 Will it work, I do not know

Simply he’ll have to let things flow

 it’s all so darn new to me

  The step by step watching to see

   Finally he feel OK with this

Attempting to block out all that he missed

 in his heart he starts to feel steady

  Finally he feels that he is ready

written by: Justin Ludwig

First Love

First Love

Im going out on a limb in assuming I’m not the only one who has at some point in their walk found that their love for Christ had become lukewarm. That awareness that their passion for Christ had become a shallow routine instead of the passionate relationship we so desperately need and He so desperately wants.

Who knows, maybe it is just me 🙂 But I have a strong hunch a lot of you can relate. I mean, life is chaotic; death, fear and doubt. Don’t forget the devil is still the prince of the power of the air. Constantly looking to distract and destroy us. Which is why we MUST always hold Christ tightly. I’ve known this theologically for years but recently I had to learn this experientially.

I’m sitting in a waiting room at midnight. A waiting room that I have sat in more time that I could count. An I.V. bag above me. That all to familiar salty taste in the back of the throat. I scan the room observing the chaos, sickness and sadness. It didn’t bother me because I had already lost the will to live…I gave up

Suddenly as I am slumped in my chair I felt Holy Spirit completely saturate me. An intensity I experienced only once before. And suddenly He began to speak in my heart. It wasn’t soft whispers but a hardcore rebuke. He said, ” Stand up and accept you have two choices; Die alone or Live to love”

In that instant I wept in joy because for the first time in too long I felt the full embrace of the Father. I’ve hidden in shame for so long I sincerely forgot what His full embrace felt like….I fell in love with Him all over again in that room. In that moment He removed the veil that has blinded me for many years which distorted my priorities and perspectives.

I suddenly remembered what it was like on the otherside of the mountain and I was refreshed to my soul. Perhaps a fire in my soul would better capture this divine experience.

I share this because my shame manipulated me into avoiding intimacy with Him to my own agony, fear and destruction. Don’t let your personal issue, pain or vice trick you into avoiding the One Person who can help you. He’s not upset. He’s simply waiting for you to turn around and let Him love you.

“Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstandfrom its place.” -Revelation 2:4-5

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RawDisciple Ministries Justin Ludwig Written: 08/27/2022

Unintentional rhyme

Unintentional rhyme

I can’t help but sit and ponder

Why i always had to wander

Never able to hold My mask

Twas cemented by that hypnotic flask

Seemed every time i began to mend

Destruction loomed just around the bend

Pain was All i could control

took Foolish pride in that painful mold

ALL was lost in the First drop

Loathing myself too much to stop

Such self hate

my DOMINate trait

Chaos birthed pain

my pain left scars

My dreams of peace… they feel like Mars

Far away, a distant dot

Reseved myself to simply rot

Reasons still unknown to me

No move left so i drop to plea

“Oh Lord, i don’t know what to do

my only hope is turn to You

Why did i choose a life like this.

It’s what I ponder gazing at my wrists

Oh my God so many marks

Made alone trapped in My dark

Lost in tears I hears Him say

“My son, look up, it’s a brand new day

I AM always here

I know it’s hard but please don’t fear

I’ll guide your steps

I’ll fill your heart

From you I will not depart

TAKE a breath

you are now safe

All I ask is you keep the faith

I died for you, and I’ll do more

So pick yourself up off the floor

I’m here My son

I’ll watch your back

Simply cut yourself some slack

QUIT asking how you’ll clear the dross

I already did while on that cross

It’s finished son

Welcome home my boy

This is for you

My unending joy

Five Minute Eternity

Five Minute Eternity

If you understand, I am sorry for your struggle. You are not alone.

Today I forgot something I remembered.

I recognized a familiar unidentifiable smell that wasn’t there. How can I know that it wasn’t there? Because it is always there in those moments. Random yet countless circumstances, locations, mindsets, substances, no substances, you name it.

A smell in the back of my throat just shy of a taste, ushering in internal anarchy manifested by all consuming terror. A realization, a memory perhaps…In 20 plus years always the same, never identified. Just on the outskirts of my vision. This looming, thing is revealed for a jiffy…to fast to comprehend

Then, absolute horror of literally everything and absolutely nothing at exactly the same time…the silence literally screams.

Nowhere to run, nothing to run from. Completely consumed by a tornado, simply hanging on….then

Silence, stillness, only breath

Dead-end

Dead-end

    Why!?
Seeking that which cannot be found
Numbed to feel
Unintentionally ignorant Exploits of youth dominating my course
Solitude came
Ironic…expected
Always Seeking
Neverending
What I blindly sought til the seeking became what I sought

Screaming silence

noone

tomorrow’s problems seemingly suddenly yesterday’s scars
What happened….

me


Filling the Void

For far too long I have been seeking to fill the emptiness that has haunted me since day one….atleast as far back as I can remember. 

Drugs, booze, relationships…I desperately sought to irraticate the void. No matter what I had or what I lacked the hole remained, tainting every moment. 

I came to realize something I once knew but chose to forget under the crushing weight of shame and fear. 

My comfort is found in comforting others. My desire to press on will only be fueled by motivating and encouraging those who are discouraged. 

If I want love I must be love

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Patterns

What do you do when what you want isn’t what you want

     Where do you go when you’ve reached your destination only to find yourself somehow more lost than ever 

    Turned around

    Stumbling through

         Doubting the doubts of doubts

Patterns of a life repeat til now

      feared greater than any nightmare 

Most are their heros

    Others, their own villain 

A monster between it all 

   Between each thought

        Every feeling & action

Plotting & widdling against….against me

Vigilance til over thought floods

Fighting the invisible 

                     the patterns

      the unknown within thar manifests emptiness 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 03/11/22

Dreams Taunt

Dreams Taunt

Dreams….

Some achieve the impossible

Others practical

The rest are tainted

Ghosts just below a whisper

Outskirts of memory

Panic protects

Why?

Can’t be remembered

Can’t let it go

Memory flickers

Insufficiently retained

Enough to torment

Fear,

Rooted in fear

Fear of what will

What is

What was…..

Times range entangled by guilt

Blurred into eternity

Can’t be seen

Instead

Believed

Felt

….accomplished

Unity not Politics

Unity not Politics

I don’t know about you but I dont care about the presidency. Hell I voted for a third party because I just dont like the chaos of two crazy choices every 4 years….. i just ask, please be kind to each other, whatever your political stance.

We the people means we the people, us, not government. Stand united against injustice, division, fear and political pandering. I pray that we the people open our eyes, come together and stop letting anger, fear and resentment fuel our downfall. Whatever your political views, race or sexual preference please know yes I am am Christian, I love you and stand beside you. Not only as an American but a freakin human being… there are many others just like me. Choose love over division and faith over fear. Be the change…be the blessing

Justin Ludwig

God is Good, Even When Life Isn’t

You know what I love? Those times in your life when everything is just as it should be. Those awesome times when the Son is shining in your life, lighting your path and you can’t deny feeling God’s hand in everything. You know the times I’m referring to, don’t you? When God’s presence is almost tangible.

These are the times I, as well as a majority of Christians sing God’s praises, and why shouldn’t we? We meditate on scripture like psalm 119:105 and fall in love all over again with God’s intricate tapestry that is our existence. We feel that our faith is unshakeable because we have Yahweh in our corner who loves us so…….

But then you wake up one day and something happens. That marvelous light that was a lamp for your feet and a light for your path suddenly seems to have faded. Things stop going your way …..your prayers seem to stop being answered and worst of all you don’t feel God’s presence anymore. Are you still singing God’s praises when you are deep in that valley?

Is your faith and love as strong when you feel all alone and everything seems to go wrong in your life? When life is awesome or when life seems like a nightmare, God is exactly the same. He loves us, He is just as sovereign and is always good, no matter our circumstance.

My prayer for all of us to continue to grow closer to Christ. That we will continue to develop a level of trust that never waivers regardless of circumstance and that we never doubt God’s hand on us, ESPECIALLY when we don’t feel His presence.

Brothers and sisters, this is faith. Having assurance in the unseen and yes sometimes the unfelt.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” -Heb 11:1

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ” Isaiah 41:10

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”- Heb 13:8

“Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light to my path.”- Ps 119:105

Written by: Justin Ludwig

It’s Not About Us

It was about three weeks into Teen Challenge when I received some news that threw me over the edge. Because of it I had decided to give up. I immediately stopped caring and had decided that I was leaving. I was literally so angry I almost put my head into a window and then a poll. I was ranting, cussing as loud as I could and was trying to pick fights with guys I knew could beat me very badly. I had lost hope in my surroundings and I KNEW that there was nothing there for me……I sincerely had given up.

Amongst my insane rantings a small blonde guy came up to me as calm as could be and asked what was up. I proceeded to rant, panic, scream…..i mean, completely lose it. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “F*** you, did you ever stop and thing that you aren’t here for you but that you’re here for me!?”

This statement/question stopped me dead in my tracks as if someone had shot me with a tranquilizer….it’s not about me. It was the ONLY thing that could have been said to calm me and give me perspective because in my own chaos and insanity all I could see was my own situation. Somehow my freak out reminded him of himself and it was the first time that he didn’t feel alone there……..

Each one of us must remember that we aren’t here for ourselves, we’re here for others

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Be the Blessing!

My name is Justin Ludwig and I am a man on fire for God. I came to know Christ back in 2012 after a lifetime of darkness and selfishness. He changed my life in so many ways; He saved me from the bondage of addiction, self destruction and most importantly He saved me from hating myself. (click My Testimony)

Once I finally encountered the amazing love and grace of Christ, I decided I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to glorifying His name, letting the world know what He has to offer and that there is hope for each one of us, thanks to the grace of God. I started RawDisciple Ministries in 2016 with the purpose of spreading the gospel, serving those in need and showing the world that they are loved,by me and more importantly by God. Through this ministry I reach out to the world however possible. I walk the streets and speak to the broken, the homeless and the addicted. I evangelize online around the world and I travel on missions trips to foreign countries to help bring light to this dark world.

This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with glorifying God. The gospel is simple, getting past ourselves and loving on the person in front of us. We humbly ask for your support through prayers, finances or both. Please know every donation, large or small goes to further the gospel of Jesus Christ and to help those who can’t help themselves. There is no donation that is too small or prayer to big.

If Holy Spirit has put it on your heart to donate to help us love in action you can either give a general donation or we have several ministry choices which are listed below. If you feel that you want to donate to one ministry in particular then please note your preference in the memo section of the check. If there is a specific ministry with greater need at the time it will be indicated with a star to inform you.

Every penny donated will be going to ministry and service. I do not collect any wage so every cent will go to glorifying God and to giving to the needy. I thank you for taking time to read this letter and I pray that God will put it on your heart to support us, whether it be through finances or prayers. We are extremely grateful, God bless.

If you decide to donate you can either click on the “donate” button below and choose exactly where you want your donation to go. Or you can mail a check to PO Box 34, Harbor City CA 90710. Thank you and God bless

CLICK HERE TO DONATE

Miracles Require Faith

I just heard something intriguing that I wanted to share with y’all. In “third world” countries such as Africa, Brazil and India they seem to experience divine miracles almost on a daily basis…..why is it then that the western world, why America doesn’t see these types of miracles take place as commonly? The simple answer is that we have 911.

We have a safety net and when something goes wrong our first instinct is not to turn to God with everything we have, but to pick up the phone and tangibly call someone to help us. These other countries don’t have 911, the only option they have is to turn to God with everything they have. The reason these countries see the divine hand of God working in miraculous ways so often is because He is all they have….He is there only help….He is there only hope.

What if we were able to adopt this thought/faith process? We are so blessed to have 911 but if we were to seek God with everything we are….imagine the movement of the Holy Spirit that would take place in our country, just imagine.

In our lives, in our troubles there is only One who can help us, and He’s the One that took our place! Let’s turn to God first and show this country the reality and the power of God!
Written by: Justin Ludwig

Revealings in the Dark

The dark path, penetrated by shafts of light cutting through the mist of the untold day.

The path though traveled often is unknown, for who knows what the familiar path holds until it is walked out in it’s entirety in the present. This reality pushes me forward; possibilities of refreshing, renewing and renovating waft in the crispness of the darkness like the aroma of pine on a mountainside, on the verge of overwhelming yet captivating.

In the silence my thoughts begin to flow. Like that of a babbling brook which seems to flow uphill…. am I seeking or am I fleeing? Does it matter? In this contemplation the tangible reality dissipates. The only illumination, hazy yellow markers cutting the darkness like that of a dull knife, still glowing from the fires embrace.

My eyes cannot help but be drawn off this path into the darkness, where the unknown spectrum lies. Blessings and monsters dot my horizon but remain unseen from this vantage.

The days is before me, what does it hold?

Written by: Justin Ludwig

01/07/2019

Birth Days

The brilliance

emerges over unfamiliar fields

Seemingly unmoving, it rises

It’s Beauty tainted

Always by the familiar

Ushering in the repetition

my heart Cries out

How do i know?

When each thought

every feeling

Overlapping in an instant

so fast…..

A blur of Hope, wrapped in frustration

i long for what waits

So wait,

Rising

rising, rising

All the while the melody flows

another and again

Searching for what’s already obtained

Still I sit

still yet frantic

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Today is the Day

today
In Acts 24:25 Paul is presenting his faith to governor Felix. Here Paul presents not only theological truths but practical applications of his faith, such as righteousness and self control. As he is talking, Felix stops him because “ he had become afraid.” Felix sent Paul away telling him that “when it is convenient for him” he would send for Paul again. The message that Paul was preaching was too overwhelming for Felix to tolerate, so he chose to dismiss it until it was convenient for him.

How many times have we turned away from God’s instruction because it was contrary to what we wanted to do? Whether it be stopping a sinful behavior, forgiving a brother or sister or delaying even coming to Christ because that means we would have to give up our right to do what we want when we want in order to follow Him. I have found it true in my life that saying “someday” is another way of saying never. Someday I will stop cursing,….someday I will quit this horrible habit… Someday I will stop living like this and turn to Christ.
The truth is that we are not promised tomorrow, and the truth is that life moves so fast that if we keep saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow”, then we are running the very real risk of losing our only opportunity. In Hebrews 3:13 it instructs us that we must act now” as long as it is called today”. We must not wait until tomorrow to forgive, to tell our families about Christ or accept Christ ourselves because tomorrow may never come.

We must act now, as long as it is called today
“As Paul talked about righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and said, “That’s enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you.” -Acts 24:25
“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” -Hebrew 3:13
“Dear Children let us not love in words or speech but with action and truth.” -1 John 3:18

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Expectations Can Taint Blessings

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How many times have our blessings been cheapened because they didn’t turn out exactly as we envisioned it or hoped it would be?

I was riding my bike down to the beach this afternoon. Since I have started with street ministry I have become very mobile, so I decided to go down and enjoy the sunset. About halfway to the beach my bike got a flat tire which stopped me dead in my tracks. At this point I had about 30 minutes until sunset, so there was no way I was going to make it to the beach in time. I happened to be near my brother’s house (which is also the house I grew up in.) I decided I had come this far so I might as well hang out on the roof of his house and make the best of it.

…..the sunset that followed was such an amazing display of beauty. With the dissipating marine layer, the colors were so brilliant, so beautiful….so perfect.

Lost in the beauty of the heavens exploding, for the briefest of moments nothing else mattered. I smiled and praised God…. All of a sudden I started thinking of how much better it would have been if I had made it to the beach.

In the first moment of brilliance I was consumed by beauty…. But as soon as I began to focus on what didn’t go as planned, it suddenly wasn’t as perfect anymore. It was in this moment when Holy Spirit revealed to me the very truth that inspired this writing.

We must stop looking for what we want to happen and be grateful for what God gives us… We must stop envisioning what God’s plan “should be” and then be upset or disappointed because it went a little differently than we thought it should have.

I am not preaching because I feel like the number one offender when it comes to this ungrateful tendency…. We can’t let the enemy’s lies or even our own plans blind us from the amazing blessings that are right in front of us.

Be blessed and love well my friends

Justin Ludwig

Passion and Hate

There is a thin line between love and hate….

Love consumes, so does hate

hate festers

Love does also

They both birth joy, fear, hope, safety and protection…..rage.

…..what is the line?

If the mind distorted by hate sees an action as best for the other, then where is the line?

People like me tend to hurt the ones they love, so it isn’t a matter of caring….

What’s the line?

I bet each answer would be different.

I used to believe self sacrifice was the deciding factor…but I’d give my life to take the life of one I hated.

There is a word……a hybrid word that I feel is the only real answer…..passion.

The real question is, what is your passion and why? If we seek that question, perhaps then we will discover the line that is too thin to truly understand alone.

Be blessed and love well my friends

Prayer Invitation

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

I notice people as I go about my day. Everyone I pass, I wonder what their story is…because we all got a story. When someone looks at me with hostility I wonder what happened in their life that got them to that point. When that happens I can’t help but see who so I used to be….who I am still capable of being.

I am drawn to the frustrated, hostile and the forgotten because I remember that feeling. I want to run up to everyone I see and tell them that they are loved, by me and by Jesus. And if I get punched in the face for doing it, so be it…. I try to avoid this whenever possible though 🙂 I am not talking like I’m some tough guy for Jesus, I just don’t want anyone to feel that they are alone in this.

With that said, I am extending an offer to pray for you and with you. If you want to praise God about something or just need a sincere ear to listen, this is my open invitation. This link takes you to my prayer blog where all submissions go directly to my email and are for my eyes only. Nothing is posted, there are no ads and I make absolutly no money by doing this. I am just a man who sincerly wants to pray for you and bless your life.

Be blessed and love well my friends

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

Justin Ludwig

It’s Up to Us to Let Them Know

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It breaks my heart that so many people leave God out of their lives. Whether it be from past pain or from skepticism, the end the result is the same. People become confused wanderers in a dark unfriendly world.

Some are aware of their wandering, others are not. But every single person needs to know the Truth, that they are sincerely loved, by you and more importantly by Jesus.

For so long I was that wanderer, because I simply didn’t know. I never experienced love without judgement or condition….. I didn’t know how much God truly loved me.

Everyday, each one of us has the opportunity to rock someone’s world with the love of God. Someone who may be drowning in their life or who has lost all hope….

Love in action, speak Truth and be the blessing, in Jesus name.

 

Justin Ludwig

 

Fear isn’t Lack of Faith

For the longest time I have viewed my worry and stress as a glaring contradiction to my trust in God….

I trust Him, I truly do…. but I have always felt that the fact that I worry and stress was showing me that my faith isn’t as strong as I thought……i am starting to think that this isn’t the case at all.

I was talking with my pastor about this issue and he pointed out something in the form of a question. He asked me, “Are you turning back because of your fear and worry?” I told him, “No, because I know God has something in-store for me…. I just don’t know how to stop worrying because I feel like when I worry I am telling God I don’t trust Him.”

He told me “Justin, the fact that you are not turning back shows that you are trusting God. He draws us deeper and deeper into the water to prepare us for greater and harder things”

In that moment Holy Spirit whispered in my heart, “It is supposed to scary, that’s why you have Me.”…..

It is not important if we are afraid, what’s important is that we don’t turn back…. God will not give us more than we can handle….

In this life He is going to slowly but surely stretch us. It can be scary but if we make the decision to never turn back He will show up for us time and time again.

In the face of fear, choose faith

Justin Ludwig

A Call to the Broken

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I was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to speak specifically to those of you who are feeling shattered….you know who you are. Whether it be addiction, mental illness, homelessness, hopelessness or the fact that every day you wake up and it feels like a curse… a burden or sick joke….another day. Just trying to maintain to get through to the next day and then the next….. just running out the clock on this life.
This is how I lived my life up until I finally let Christ into my heart and into my life. When I mention Jesus to people a lot of times they will respond just like I used to. When I would hear that name I would either fake interest and tune it out, scoff at these “christian fools” or sometimes react on feelings of flat out contempt, like they were judging me.
I am here to tell you that lie is keeping you bound in your hopelessness, just like it did me. I don’t speak this as some Christian who grew up in the church. In 2012 God saved me from myself….. i destroyed everything. I tried rehab, jail, mental wards, marriage, divorce, a career, homelessness…. the hopelessness was always there. When I finally stop fighting God and let Him in, everything changed. My life is more than I could have dreamed…..
I remember sitting in the alleys praying to a God for a normal life. I am here to tell you life is good on the other side! For some reason we believe the lie that keeps us shackled and bound. Don’t believe it…..please don’t believe it.
I ask that you call on the name of Jesus and let Him show you that I speak the Truth. There is hope brothers and sisters.
No matter what you did, what your struggle or what pain you have. Jesus can and will redeem you and bless you more than you can imagine…. but it’s up to you to choose Him.
If you would like to privately reach out to me if anything spoke to you, you can email me directly at RawDiscipleministries@gmail.com or, https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

No tricks or gimmicks. I just want you to experience the freedom that was given to me and that is waiting for you.

Justin Ludwig

How can I get more of You Lord!?


“How can I get more of You Lord!?”

We pray about it, we sing about it and today, I asked Holy Spirit about it.

I was praying and worshipping to some Jesus Culture this morning while walking to work. As I was praying I asked God, “How can I get closer to You?” “How can I be able to more consistently bask in Your presence?… Help me to be able to truly rest in Your promises…..tell me what to do Father.”

As I am praying this my mind immediately flashed a picture of Adam in the garden. It was so vivid and clear which I noticed immediately because I don’t have the best imagination. I have never experienced a vision from the Lord but I feel that is what this was. It almost felt like it was implanted in my brain;

Adam was crouching behind a bush with a look of confusion and fear on his face as God called out to him. His head was darting back and forth as if to be looking for somewhere to run. He had sweat on his brow as his labored breathing was visible. When the Lord called his name, (which I could not audibly hear but I knew/felt Him do it..somehow) Adam ducked his head a little lower and shook his head in frustration and shame….. then picture was gone.

Suddenly Holy Spirit whispered in my heart,” It’s not what you need to do, it’s what you need to stop doing.”

In that moment Holy Spirit revealed to me that I had let the enemy take a stronghold in my relationship with Jesus….. the enemy blinded me until this morning that I have been dodging deeper intimacy with God….because of things I haven’t wanted to face, can anyone relate to this?

In that vision, God made it crystal clear to me that just like then, it is not a matter of Him finding us. It’s a matter of us choosing to let ourselves be exposed to God in the most vulnerable of ways. Yes, He knows everything anyways but in that Adam experience we put up our own barriers between us and God…… at least I did.
We must remember how much He loves us and we must remain honest with ourselves.

The enemy’s non stop goal is to make us forget that Love, to doubt His grace. The devil knows that he can do nothing to take us from the embrace of the Lord. So he subtly and gradually tries to deceive us into choosing to back away from God.

No matter what you have done… no matter how good you feel you are doing. Allow yourself to be laid bare before our King, and trust in His love and grace….and I’ll do the same.

Be blessed and love well my friends

Justin Ludwig

Take a Leap!

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When I came to God it was because I finally let go. It was not because of some epiphany or spiritual moment. I was lying in the burned ashes of my life. I cried out in hopelessness….. and He answered.

It my complete brokenness and uncertainty I had no choice but to trust Him because I couldn’t even trust myself. And with every leap of faith I took my faith grew. I’m not saying every leap ended the way I expected or even hoped. But something was always gained and my faith in His character always grew.

The enemy uses fear and doubt to try and cripple us, keep us from God’s blessing.

Never be afraid to take a leap of faith….. Give God an opportunity to show up for you in amazing ways….just let go and trust Him and you will see.

Be blessed and love well my friends

Justin Ludwig

Cast Doubt in their Doubt

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When a non believer tells me they know they are going heaven because they are a good person my response is always the same.

I ask them, “Compared to who?”

I have seen this simple question make the most cynical of scoffers pause and ponder. That’s what we are called to do. To cast doubt in the non believers disbelief…. Holy Spirit will take care of the rest.

I just wanted to share this with you so when you are presented with this rationalization, you now have an effective response.

Be blessed and love well my friends

Written by Justin Ludwig

Christian Goals

Remember the forgotten, love the unlovable and forgive the unforgivable. As Christians, this is our life’s work. Don’t get distracted by the trivial things of this world. Love well, forgive often and be the blessing this world desperately needs

Be the blessing and love well my friends, in Jesus name.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Faith in Not Knowing

The enemy’s voice is always speaking, droning on. And if we don’t seek the voice of the Father we can never be free.

Towards the end of my dad’s life the cancer affected the speech center of his brain. He was there mentally, it was clear that he knew where he was and what He was saying…. it just didn’t make sense to anyone else. It would come out in a stream of random words that formed no seemingly coherent thought. We discovered that if he said one word at a time, very slowly the correct word (s) would come out. This only worked for short sentences because he would get frustrated and give up…. towards the very end even this wasn’t very reliable.

His mind was fading fast and all I could do was smile and nod like I knew what he was talking about…. I just wanted to be with him. When I would tell him I didn’t understand him or ask him to repeat something I would see a very pained look that I never wish on anyone to see in their dad’s face; one of fear and helplessness and very real humanity… so I nodded and smiled.

One afternoon he was talking his nonsense and he stopped. I looked over to him to see why he stopped and he looked at me, pointed to his face and slowly, forcefully said 7 words that still echo in my mind to this day.

He said, “Justin, It, All, Comes, Back, To, You.”

I am not sure what he meant by those words but in that moment my throat seized up….. I’ll never forget the focus, the urgency in his eyes when he said it……

Was he fooled by the enemy into thinking that God was punishing him for all his mistakes?….. Was he trying to pass on his final declaration to me about doing good?…… I will never know, and I have to learn to be ok with that. Some stories we don’t know the outcome this side of heaven and that truth needs to be accepted.

I never knew for sure if my dad accepted Christ before the end. I watched God reach out to my dad throughout that year of sickness and pain and I never knew, cause that’s how my dad was…..

These words echo in my mind because He could have meant two very different things depending on who’s voice he was listening to; God or satan.

….i think about this and I hope and pray that he was speaking life to me and not death on himself. Sometimes we have to be okay not knowing. We just have to trust in the not knowing……knowing that God is good.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

In Your Darkness, God is There


God is right there, in the middle of our hurt and our pain, shouting that He loves us…..can you hear Him?

It was so hard to watch the cancer eat away at my dad. It seemed to be happening so slow, yet so fast at the same time. The range of emotions I experienced I won’t even begin to list. But with everything going on, time and time again, seeing God reaching out to my father was such a faith strengthening and amazing experience.

I found the entire ordeal with my father to be something of a bittersweet experience. Watching him wither away right before my eyes, his body not working, his mind fading fast, and a fear in his eyes that a child never wants to see on their dad’s face… it was just heartbreaking. But in the midst of this sadness, watching God work, by softening my dad’s heart, so I could finally have a relationship with him before the end. My mom drawing close to God because of the pain…. the seemingly random and amazing ways both my wife and I have seen God reaching out to dad, offering His love and salvation… it is just mind blowing. These are just a few of the blessings that have come about because my dad got sick.

This is what we need to recognize and focus on in the midst of the chaos and pain in our lives. If we focus on the pain instead of God, the burden becomes too great. When our focus is on God, the pain is still there, but we are now able to see how God is using the situation for His purpose. And watching Him comfort, love and bless those affected by their trails takes the chaos out of the pain, and that gives us hope.

He is good, always. My prayer for all of us is that we will hold onto that truth and never forget.

Justin Ludwig

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”-Is 41:10

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you”.-1Peter 5:7

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jer 29:11-13

Justin Ludwig

God’s Love 

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God is not capable of failing us…. He will never grow tired of us and He will never ever leave us….Most importantly, He is absolutely, indescribably head over heels in love with us and there is nothing that we can do to change that. Whether we are serving or sinning He loves us exactly the same……His love never changes. (Ps 136:1-2, Rm 8:37-39)

Justin Ludwig

Purpose For Your Pain

20171204_220732272509105.jpg God is not capable of failing us…. God is not capable of making mistakes… and He is absolutely, indescribably in love with us.

When my marriage fell apart, it hurt so bad. The last thing I was thinking was that the pain was the only way for me to become the man I wanted to be…. When my kids moved away from me and my heart was shredded…… the last thing I was thinking was that the excruciating pain of losing my children was exactly what I needed to become the father that I wanted to be…. the father my kids so desperately needed me to be.

And when I gave up all hope, and I finally accepted that I was a lost cause, the last thing I was thinking was that at that moment, God was about to change everything.

Through the love and grace of Christ I have been blessed with the life that I never dared dream. When I look back at my life I cannot help but notice that if every single one of those horrible things didn’t happen to me… If I didn’t experience every mistake, every heartbreak, and ounce of pain, I would not have what I now have. Just like Joseph in Genesis 37, God had amazing plans for this young man, but God is no fool. He will not entrust things to people who are not prepared to handle them.

When your pain seems too strong…… when there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, trust in His Truth…. He is working, and He will finish the work He has started. He will come through, and in a way we will never see coming.

Our feelings, our fears, and even our thoughts will lie to us. They will tell us that God will not come through, so we need to do it ourselves.

No matter what your situation is, He is working…. No matter how far down you are, He is working…. and no matter how uncertain your future or present seems, He will come through.

I live in California and my kids just moved to Louisiana because their mother is in the military. This is the third time I have had to say goodbye to my children, and, to be totally honest, it only gets harder. It takes courage to trust in God’s timing. But when I find myself completely stressing out because of them being so far away, the what-if’s creep into the back of my mind and before I know it, I am doubting that God will come through for me. It is so subtle how the doubt infiltrates. My faith in God’s goodness, love and truth is so strong, because I know He is good, but I am not immune.

I can shout that I have all the faith in the world, but if I am seeking truth regarding my faith and my walk with Christ, I cannot help but recognize that even though I do trust God down to the marrow in my bones. I cannot ignore the fact that if I am having such fear and anxiety of “what if,” then I am not trusting God like I thought I was.

I share this truth about myself for one reason, and that is that I am not sitting here, on some spiritual mountaintop spouting inspiration. In this season of mourning and loss in my life, God has shown up, inspired and come through for me in ways that I will discuss in future posts.

No matter how terrifying, no matter how hopeless or defeated ….. Seek His face……hear His voice….and no matter what, trust His promises.

Thank You Father for being so perfect… so trustworthy

Written by: Justin Ludwig

“ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God -2 Cor 3:4

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you”– ­Deut 31:6

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” ­ -1 Peter 5:7

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

God’s Word is Power

We must be fed the Word of God daily, that we may be strong to fight this daily spiritual battle. Just as the Holy Spirit used the Word of God to give us spiritual birth, He uses the Word to give us spiritual strength.

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. – Matt 4:4 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

God’s Timing 

God’s timing can be be frustrating and at times scary, but it is always perfect. 

In those periods of waiting or silence remember, God must work in us before He can work through us. Holy Spirit needs to build our character in order to prepare us to be able to handle what He has planned for each one of us. I am not preaching, but if I was it is as much to myself as anyone else. We must stay the course and trust God, because He is trustworthy. Be blessed and love well my friends.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Grace Alone 

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Good people don’t go to heaven… forgiven people do. Stay humble and love well my friends.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works,  so that no one can boast.” –Eph 2:8-9


Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Confession of a Dead Man 

I spent my whole life taking…..

I think that harsh truth fuels my urgency to love in action. I spent most of my life serving myself. With a combination of self loathing, whispers from the enemy, and a haze from whatever I happened to be addicted to at the time, I was able to to ignore what I was, a bad person. A man completely consumed by sin.

I lied, cheated and stole indiscriminately. It didn’t matter if it was my mother or a stranger, I would manipulate them for my selfish needs, and when manipulation didn’t work I would just take. I was emotionally and at times physically abusive. I lied constantly, cheated and schemed for a living and I was okay that….. this is the confession of a dead man.

Once Christ came into my life my eyes suddenly were opened to my condition. Suddenly my heart wept over the thoughts of the things I had done…. I still cringe at some of these memories that I used to be okay with… I cringe at the thought that I was even okay with it. I suddenly was unable to bear the sight of my selfishness, my destructiveness….my sinfulness.

These thoughts of my past didn’t and don’t make me feel ashamed, because I am brand new. All of a sudden I had a desire to love…. to go out of my way for strangers and a need to want to make people’s lives better, not worse.

This is what God does to every single heart He touches. God is love, and when He touches us, we can’t help but respond.

Be the blessing and love well, because when we love God is present. God bless

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”
-1 John 4:12

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” -1 John 4:8

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone and the new is here.”- 2 Cor 5:17

Written by: Justin Ludwig

When Opinions Overshadow Compassion

​We are not our politics, our social status or our country…. we are human beings.

When tragedy strikes it seems I see and hear countless comments of blame and claim but very little mourning for the lost of the innocent. Being completely real with you I have been guilty of this in the past on more than one occasion, maybe some can relate. When we get swept up in the politics of a tragedy instead of the actual tragedy; ie. arguing a point on gun control or getting upset because of some political move made by a world leader while nothe really focusing on the fact that innocent men, woman and/or children may have died, or worse. All the while overlooking the sheer horror of a situation or event…..

We cannot let our opinions replace the love of Christ in our hearts, we cannot turn a blind eye because it’s uncomfortable and we must always seek compassion and love over all else.

“I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother.” – Ps 35:14

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”- John 4:7-9

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” -Col 3:2


Written by: Justin Ludwig

Photo credit: Rachelwojo.com 

Choose Unity Over Being Right

Pentecostal, Baptist, Lutheran, Protestant and Evangelical. The list goes on and on…..

I don’t know if I am the only one, but my body tightens at the question that I am so commonly asked when meeting other christians. It seems to be the ice breaking question to ask someone what denomination they are.

This question bothers me because I don’t hear someone looking for common ground. I hear someone looking for differences, not necessarily intentionally but they are seeing if I am someone “like them”.

In the body of Christ we are one and when I see this division because of a group’s interpretation of a scripture it just feels wrong to me. It feels like we are saying that my views….my interpretation of the scriptures is more important than being united; one body, one church…..

I hear it all the time, christians talking down about believers of another denomination like they are fools or the enemy some how. It seems some have let their interpretation of the scriptures….. their personal views about the passage that are open to interpretation become more important than the Truth. And the Truth is if anything divides the church…. if anything takes the place of unity, grace and love then we have made ourselves more important than Christ in our own hearts. Because if our interpretation of scripture is dividing us, then our opinion or pride is more important than Christ, period.

In Christ we always find each other.

Choose unity over being right and choose love, always

Written by: Justin Ludwig

It Only Takes a Spark

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When we understand that our ministry is about glorifying God and not ourselves, we recognize that the size doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if we touch one heart through a small blog or ten million through a mega church. Through Christ, each heart has the capability to change the world, ignite a revival or inspire hope, with a single spark.

Don’t let the world’s view of success discourage your ministry. It only takes a small spark to ignite a raging fire. Continue to throw out sparks wherever you go and trust that God will ignite a raging fire.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Free From The Lies


​I fought my whole life…. 

I fought against an enemy that cannot be seen but that most are familiar with. An enemy that whispers into our ear that we are not good enough….. an enemy that won’t let us forget our mistakes…. an enemy that tells us that there is no hope for us. Being completely honest, I was losing this fight in a very real and devastating way for most of my life.

It wasn’t until I stopped fighting and surrendered that these lies lost their power over me and I felt something I had never experienced before…. hope.

Thank You Jesus setting me free!

Believe and Then You Will See

Sometimes in this life we are looking for signs. Messages from God clearly telling us if we should do something or not. I don’t know about you but I would love for God to give me a burning bush experience or some undeniable sign…. but it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes we have a hard time hearing God’s voice…. perhaps what we are asked to do seems more than we can handle.

So we wait for signs….

What if we simply leaned into our passion without reservation, knowing that God would come through for us?What if the only thing standing in our way is simply our lack of belief in that God is capable and will come through for us?

Think about it, He left the Israelites in the desert simply because they didn’t have faith. The Centurion whose servant was healed from being paralyzed simply because he believed Jesus could…… If we have the faith of a mustard seed we could move mountains….

Don’t let fear dictate your ministry, your path or your life. Learn to lean into your passion knowing that God will show up. And He will show up, because He is faithful. 

Believe and then you will see


Written by : Justin Ludwig

Remember the Love

There always seem to be sad, gut wrenching memories that come to mind at random, but not today. I stand at my door, looking out my screen. My mind drifts to this year’s 4th of July…. I had my daughter with me. We were standing on my neighbor’s balcony and I had her in my arms… jeez her legs are getting so long. We watched the bright colors in the distance and chatted about whatever goes through a 7 year old’s mind…. It was perfect.

I remember recognizing the moment as a moment to really hold onto, to savor and focus on..… I had my daughter in my arms…..How many visits do I have before she stops asking me hold her like the little girl she will always be to me?

I weep at this recollection and so many like it…. but they are mine. An extremely precious gift from God…. No matter how fleeting they are, we must remain grateful and hold onto those moments of perfection. When love is so complete you feel you may burst….. Treasure these gifts, no matter how fleeting.

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Remember the Forgotten

Heb13 3

In the body of Christ we are one. From the man in the mansion to the man in the gutter…. from the pulpit to the prison cell, we are all equal in the kingdom of God. This truth is something that needs to be proclaimed and walked out every day of our lives. Hebrews 13:3 says:

“Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.”

This is why I am reaching out to you. Several months ago I got involved in a ministry called Christian Pen Pal Ministry (CPP). You are connected with people in prison seeking a friendship, and encouragement from other believers. Brothers and sisters in chains who need our love and support. I love this ministry because it is an opportunity to remember the forgotten and shine in the darkness in an impactful way.

If we seek Truth we find Christ, and in Christ we will always find each other. I encourage you to click the link and get involved.

http://www.cppministry.com

Be the blessing and love like Christ

Written by : Justin Ludwig

Exiles of this Age

Holy Spirit impressed something on my heart I wanted to share with all of you. In Mark 5:1-20  Jesus comes across a cursed man. This man was possessed by not one demon, but a legion of demons. The hold that they had on this man was so great that he was written off by society. They exiled him to the tombs, hastily forgotten, helpless…hopeless. The villagers didn’t know what to do with the man. They tried everything they could think of to help him, then they resorted to simply trying to confine him. In their fear and desperation they chained the man down, but his demons were so powerful they snapped the chains like strings. Unable to deal with him, they exiled him to the tombs, to suffer in his torment.

Imagine this man, possessed by such darkness. The scripture says he howled into the night, cutting himself with stones…. The pain of this man… this man who fell victim to a darkness much stronger than himself.

Everyone was terrified of this man, Jesus sought this man out. Everyone wrote him off as a lost cause, Jesus saw a man who needed to be set free.

This is such an inspirational model for every one of us. We cannot turn a blind eye to the exiles of this age. We must not confine our ministry to that of our own comfort.

There is a large world out there, filled with so many people without hope. People broken, lost, hurting and alone. Those outside of our comfort zone that are howling in pain like this possessed man. How will they know the hope we have found unless we tell them?

The homeless man, the convict, the orphan…  Men and women bound and gagged in their sin, their pain or their circumstance.

I am not saying that you should head down some dark alley looking for lost souls. I am just saying that He wants to use you. Don’t be afraid or over think how what you should do. With a single smile or a word said from love, the Holy Spirit is capable of changing the heart and life of a person otherwise hopeless.

Jesus has called us not to stand on the sidelines, but to roll up our sleeves and love the unlovable. It is our responsibility to remember the forgotten and give hope to the hopeless, in Jesus name.

 

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matt 28:19

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Love Never Fails

​Sometimes I feel like I may disappear….

Lost in the shuffle of the same papers since the fall

Accumulation…..

    gain and accomplishment

     again and again

Lost like a whisper in the wind

  Hypothetical memories torn and tattered 

  Like the faded memories on life support in a wallet

  Love…..

   It carries forward 

     A force that cannot be contained 

by the tangible or even the rational 

      …..it the darkness we cry

     In the darkness it screams 

     Love never fails

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

  

Every Response Matters

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I read the comments on Facebook and see Christians spewing hate in response to non believers automatic assumptions that Christians are judgmental hypocrites…..I read these things and my stomach tightens.

We as believers either cast doubt in the minds of the scoffer or we reinforce their views of Jesus and believers. We cannot let our pride pervert our ministry.

We are promised that we will be hated because of the name of Christ. So we must expect it and respond with the unexpected, love.

Be the blessing and represent Him well.


Written by: Justin Ludwig

​imageI find it so incredible how the Spirit speaks to us. I was walking into work this morning and as I am walking up the stairs, I dropped my keys. As soon as I heard them hit the ground I froze. I heard something, it was an almost audible voice in my head saying,

“You are not immune.”

I kid you not, I stood there for atleast a minute, staring at those keys, mumbling to myself, “I am not immune.”  It didn’t hit me right away, but about an hour into work it clicked and I understood what He was showing me.

For as long as I can remember, every time I would see someone drop something, I would  joke in my head that if I was holding it, I wouldn’t of dropped it. It’s silly I know, but what can I say, I’m weird. And when those keys hit the floor, with that joke as far from my mind as could be, I found myself recognizing that even I couldn’t stop myself from letting those keys drop out of my hand. Which guided my thoughts to a verse.

“Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.” -Psalms 26:2

That’s when I realized that the Spirit was both reminding and warning me about the severity of my condition. The bottom line is that I/we have a sinful, selfish and destructive heart. As a human we were just born with this sinful condition, passed down through Adam, and we will remain that way until we are glorified with Him.

There are so many things deep within me that can throw me off track in my walk with Christ. Selfish, sinful motives….my pride. Dare I say unintentional distortion of God’s word. Perhaps from past hurts or points of view that had been ingrained into me since birth. We all have things like this. If we didn’t then there would be no need for a Savior.

What the Spirit was reminding me was that if I don’t remain vigilant with the knowledge that I am not immune to this sin condition…. That if I am not vigilant in inspecting myself against the word of God daily, then I will surely become one of those Christians who lost their way.

I am not talking about the ones who turned away from God. I am talking about those who still truly believe that they are perfectly in God’s will, but their sin has changed their path. Their pride skewing their perceptions and intentions … and they just can’t see it.

Before we know it, we have become modern day Pharisees, proclaiming God’s greatness for our own glory.

Until we are face to face with Christ we are at war. With the powers of darkness and with the darkness within ourselves, and they both seek to destroy us. We must remain vigilant, humble, and seek His face, always

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Photo from: Google Images

Jesus Will Light Our Way

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The Spirit is always speaking to us, and if we are in tune with Him, the seemingly trivial events of our day to day life have the ability to reveal to us His truth. With that said I wanted to share a quick story with all of you.

Almost every morning when I get to work it is the same thing. I lock up my bike, I walk into my building and head to the bathroom to get myself situated to start my day. I open the door to the bathroom and walk in, expecting the motion sensor to see me as I enter and automatically turn the light on, and every morning I walk in, and that stupid light doesn’t turn on. I make it around 4 steps in complete darkness, waiting for something to happen, but nothing does. I guess I assume if I walk a little further or move enough the light will click on. Every morning it is not until either I simply turn towards the sensor, or reach out and almost touch it that the lights turn on and I am able to see.

I always laugh at myself and think,”Damn Justin, how many times are you going to do this? You know what will turn the light on, So just do that fool!” This is the Spirit’s almost daily reminder for me. Pointing out how ridiculous it is for me to stumble around in the darkness trying to figure things out for myself, instead of doing what I know will work, and that is simply to turn to Him to illuminate the way.

I smile every time I turn around and that light clicks on, because I have been guilty of this in my walk with Christ on way more than one occasion. I’m sure all of you can relate. We know what we are supposed to do, but for some reason, even though we know that God will help us and make things clear for us, we still sometimes insist on fumbling around in the dark, hoping the light will just turn on and show us what to do or where to go.

God is always right there, waiting for us to turn to Him, so He can shine in our lives.

Write this truth on the tablet of your heart. Accept His offer of love and guidance and seek Him in everything you do, especially in the trivial, and He will light your way.

 

“But in their distress they turned to the Lord God of Israel, and they sought Him, and He let them find Him.”-2 Chronicles 15:4

“Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually.” -1 Chronicles 16:11

“I keep my eyes always on the Lord.  With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” -Psalm 16:8

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” -James 1:5

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” -Psalm 119:105

 

Written by : Justin Ludwig

Watch “Teen Challenge Creation Skit” on YouTube

I came across a video from when I was in the Teen Challenge on the Drama Team. We would go to churches and schools, perform and then share of the power of God in our hopeless situations to inspire hope.

Sharing our hope is what we are called to do…. no matter what it may look like.

Teen Challenge 2013 Drama Team- “Creation Skit” (Me)

Justin Ludwig

Called to Love in Action

“Dear children, let us not love in word or speech, but with action and in truth.” -1 John 3:18

God has called each of us to love. The love that God desires from us is not a feeling or an emotion. It is a call to a action. It is a call to put the needs of others before our own, especially when we don’t feel like it. There is a whole world out there of broken souls who are desperate for hope, for love….for Jesus

We are called to love in action and I just want to be a resource so you can get involved in a ministry.

Below are several links to different organizations that you can get involved with. If you know of any causes that you would like to see added to this list, please contact me and let me know.

This is your call to love like God desires and bring light to this broken world.

 

Baja Bound Ministries -Building Homes for the Working Poor

Teen Challenge – Christian Discipleship for Addiction

Sponsor a Childs Education and Break the Cycle of Poverty

Friends Of Angels -Autism Ministry

Addicts Aren’t Beyond Hope

I went to Teen Challenge in 2012 and my life has never been the same, all glory to Jesus! I was as bad as it gets for most of my life. I was strung out, full of hate and pain. Thanks to this ministry and the grace of God I have been redeemed! It was all God but Teen Challenge gave me the foundation in Christ that I needed to overcome a lifetime of addiction, hurt and brokenness. I tried everything from rehabs, jail and mental wards…. gutters, inpatient and outpatient programs… nothing worked.

I am walking taking proof that no one is too far gone, nobody is beyond redemption, and through Christ everyone has hope.

I encourage you to get involved, however that looks. Be blessed my brothers and sisters.

http://www.teenchallenge.org/

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

How Can I Serve You?

RawDiscipleMinistries, rawdisciple.com

Below are three links depending on why you would like to reach me. If you would like to contact me regarding something other than these please feel free to email me at rawdiscipleship4u@gmail.com

Prayer is power. I want to pray for you!!!

Speaker- Testimonies (Free)

Fundraising or Donation Letters

Ways to love in Action, Ministries and Service

Can you hear Him?

wp-1507962515119.jpgCan you hear Him?

In the midst of the chaos, He is assuring You that He is in control…..in the middle of our very personal, excruciating pain and sadness, He is screaming how much He loves us…. can you hear Him?

I’d like to say that I always feel completely confident in my faith, but that would be a lie. There are times when the pain is so deafening it seems to distract me from hope and His voice is drowned out…. I begin to feel like I am sinking…. then the doubts begin to whisper. “God has left you”…. “you are just fooling yourself, give up”…. “you are alone and hopeless”….

Unfortunately in our journey with Christ we will not always feel His presence or comfort. We won’t hear His voice and we will feel like we are on our own. Speaking just for myself, this place can be terrifying. When my world seems to be crumbling down around me and God seems to be silent….

It is in these times we must choose to trust. These times can be the hardest for a christian. When everything inside of us is screaming doubt, hopelessness or fear. When we must disregard every fiber of our flesh and rationality and choose to trust that God hasn’t gone anywhere….. that He is working on something. It is in these places that we must choose to believe that He does love us and that no matter how hopeless it seems, He will come through.

We won’t always hear His voice, but I am here to tell you without a doubt that God is right there, in the middle of your agony, screaming His love for you.

Choose to believe and you will be blessed.

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Prayer is power. I want to pray for you!!!

Prayer is power. I want to pray for you!!!

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

I have talked about the power of prayer on so many occasions. In my walk with Christ I have come to recognize and understand prayer as much more than some ritual or something we do to make ourselves feel better when we are out of options. Prayer is a time we are able come before God with boldness, openess and sincerity. We come before God with our hearts laid bare and with hope. Knowing that He hears us, that He loves us and that He can be trusted…. But if we were to pause and ask ourselves, “How much do we truly believe in the effectiveness of our prayers?

If each one of us were to take a fearless look at ourselves and ask, “Down to my core, do I truly trust that He hears me? Do I trust that my faith is for real, that God is absolutely, unequivocally a reality and when I pray it does make an actual difference?

I don’t pose this question to challenge, judge or question anybodys faith. Being completely raw and real I will be the first to admit that there have been times where the doubts have crept in…. I had been deceived by the enemy before, just as I am sure you have.

Prayer is such an intimate and powerful experience….. we cry out to Him in our anguish and we request the desires of our hearts! We sing His praises when He blesses us and we ask for guidance in this confusion we call life.

I am here to remind you that the power of prayer is for real. We are called to pray for each other and to do so often, in private and in action…..

In my journey with the Lord I have seen prayers being answered first hand. I have seen people’s hearts changed over night in dramatic ways. I was able to experience the gift of toungues, which I didn’t even believe in until He spoke trough me, all because my friend was praying for me. I have experienced freedom from unbreakable addictions and afflictions…. I could list countless experiences that have brought me to this firm knowledge that prayer does indeed work; both practically and in ways that cannot be explained by the secular world beyond coincidence.

What we must realize is that the doubts will come from time to time. The enemy is working night and day to mess with our head. To try and cast doubt about God, about ourselves and each other….this punk is an influencer of self destruction and hate and is always trying to fool us into doubting God!

I want everyone to know that prayer the most powerful thing we do. I want each of us to know, down to our core the reality of our faith and the real power prayer has. I want to offer my heart to you. Below is a link to my prayer page which allows you to send a prayer request or praise report.

I keep all prayers is complete confidence and if you put your email I will email you a heartfelt and faith filled prayer so you know how I am praying so you can see God working. No tricks, no advertising…. just love, in action. Please feel free to get specific with your prayers, because when we pray specifically, we will be able to see God work more clearly and our faith will grow!

If you feel Holy Spirit tugging at your heart, don’t hesitate. Let me intercede for you.

https://rawdisciple.com/prayer-requests/

Written by: Justin Ludwig


He replied l, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there and it will move.. Nothing is impossible for you.” -Matt 17:20

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16.

We Need Love

wp-1505536933002.jpg​I am so tired of the anger and hated…..the insane political division and suspicion on every level.

Sometimes I feel like the only one, looking in from the outside, weeping for humanity…. This world so desperately needs love.

Some may scoff at this proclamation but I stand by it with everything that I am. We must choose love. We must look past ourselves to the needs of the one beside us and then act.

This is the only hope we have. We must be the blessing and help change this broken world.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

So Much Joy, So Much Pain

​My heart weeps over the randomness of my recollections…..

The look on my dad’s face when his mom refused to see him on his death bed….. the look of pride of my father’s face when I hit a home run or did something that pleased him as a child. The look on my kids face that first moment we are reunited after 3 months of longing for each other… that pure excitement and joy! Immediately my mind is pulled to their faces waving goodbye in the rear view mirror driving out of my life……such heartache.

So much pain….. so much joy.

I try to focus on the beauty but the gut wrenching images always seem to taunt them, even if only slightly.

Our lives are a series of blessings, heartaches and adventures. The enemy will draw from our pain and remind us constantly…. I know he does for me. Constantly attempting to rob us of the joy that God has given us and the joy we have experienced through our relationships and our journey.

This is where action meets our faith. God is good…. God is awesome in fact and He will fill us with hope. What we must never forget is at the same time there is a very real enemy who is constantly trying to undo everything that He does. 

This is the reality of spiritual warfare in each of our lives. The devil constantly trying to remind us of the hurt… the times God did not give us what we wanted or when He didn’t answer the prayer that still causes us pain. A lyric comes to mind, “When you didn’t part the waters I wish I could have walked through, still I will trust in You.”

I speak now from a place of attack and sadness. Right this moment I feel the tears welling up because if the hurt and pain….. but we must remember the goodness of God. The blessing upon blessing He has rained down in our life. This is how we fight off these attacks from the enemy. We must not let the enemy rob us of the joy that God has already given us, and has promised to continue to give us.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” -Phil 4:8

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Why do you love Jesus?Please Share Your Hope!

Who is Jesus to you? Jesus asked Peter this question with great passion

This is a question that every single christian needs to know the answer to…. if they don’t, then why are they following Christ in the first place?

Beyond the clichés and the Sunday school lessons…. Dig deep and truly ask yourself, who is Jesus Christ, personally in your life. This is a very personal answer because as you know, the walk with Christ is an intimate, personal one.


I hope and pray that anyone who reads this will comment with their intimate, personal answer to this question. There is no “right” answer and I pray Holy Spirit will inspire you to share your love affair with us…. when we share our story, we share our hope and we grow stronger, together.

For myself, Jesus taught me not only to not hate myself but that I am worthy of love. Jesus is my hero because he changed things in my life that would have been impossible without Him.He completely softened my heart and freed me from a lifetime of self destruction. He showed me that I am loved and showed me how to let go of my past. Jesus is my strength… He gave hope to a man who has been without hope his entire life.

 Be blessed and love furiously.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Soldier’s for Christ

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When I don’t feel God’s presence it freaks me out a little.The doubts, anxieties and frustrations intensify in these times and sometimes I wonder…..am I kidding myself? In an attack, I begin to doubt and second guess everything. This is a humbling thing to admit this but the truth is the truth. When I find myself either under spiritual attack or simply completely overwhelmed by life I try to think back to a sermon I heard once.

It was a true story about a soldier who was sent on an important assignment. He was a sniper and was going to take out some enemy leader behind enemy lines. This guy planned and studied for this mission for weeks. This planning was deciding the path to take to avoid the enemy’s patrols, exit strategies, his position for the assault and every other possible angle that could or would play a factor. After lengthy preparation the soldier was confident in his mission plan. He was going to crawl several thousand meters through heavily patrolled and fortified enemy territory to a spot he determined the best opportunity for achieving his goal. He knew his plan was not going to be easy. In fact he knew it was going to be painful and a real test of his commitment to the “cause” and his objective.

In the early evening this soldier began his inch by inch slither into position. He was rested, confident and vigilant. As the days of slow, inch by inch creeping wore on he began to weaken as fatigue set in. His stomach cramped, his lips were parched and the constant close calls with the enemy was wearing on his nerves. I would imagine sleep deprivation beginning to take its toll since he was in such a vulnerable position. I would assume he didn’t sleep much….. he was tired. When all of the planning meets the very painful reality of the mission…. this is where this soldier was at.

Then his mind did what I think most if ours would in the same or a similar situation, he began to compromise. He was 450 meters short the position decided upon earlier as their best chance of success….. this man was so tired, facing almost certain death and was convinced that he didn’t have to go the entire way to complete his mission…. he was so depleted feeling and it sounded like a good idea and was sounding better by the second.

Completely exhausted and running desperately low on hope he made the decision to continue on the last 450 meters to the original spot. The way he saw it, he had made this plan in the right state of mind. This plan was formulated after a lot of research, deliberation and thought. He recognized that if that was the conclusion that he decided on when he was in a right state of mind he would have to trust that decision. In his wisdom and training he recognized that he could not trust his own thoughts now that fear, fatigue and a dwindling hope was distorting his thinking.

He decided he would have to ignore every bit of fatigue, fear or exhaustion. He chose to disregard every shout of his mind to give up, that you can’t do it!  His body and mind had turned against him. He had to decide if the mission was more important than all of that pain and discomfort……

When we accepted Christ we had an encounter. Everyone’s story is special, unique and connected at the same time. Something happened that brought us to a decision that we are/we’re going to follow Christ. We saw the Truth and knew exactly what we needed to do….. then the months and years roll by. It seems to be one tragedy after another. Death followed by death… your children go away and you hurt. You lost your job or your entire life seems to be crumbling around you…… these are the times we MUST draw on the wisdom and strength like this soldier did. Every single one of us that made the sincere decision to accept and follow Christ is a soldier. We are soldiers for Christ because we saw the plan, in our sound minded discernment we decided to trust our Leader.

We cannot let the fatigue of our trials, disappointments, and pain lead us into believing the lie….

God is positioning us….He is using us, and if we continue to draw off His strength and persevere, we will succeed. The exciting thing is, we won’t know what that looks like, until we get to where God is calling us.

Trust in your decision to trust Him….. no matter how you feel. God is good and if You seek Him,  you will be reminded of that time and time again.

 

“Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. -2 Tim 2:3

 

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

 

Stand fast brothers and Sisters. If you need prayer to help you persevere click the link and let me pray for you.

 

https://rawdiscipleblog.wordpress.com/prayer-requests/

 

Written by: Justin Ludwig