Tag: awareness

Faith

Faith

Faith sometimes shaken by life’s commotion

Imperative to remember faith isn’t emotion

      An equally simple and difficult deal

      Especially when overwhelmed with how we feel

             What is heard

                 What is seen

No matter what into His presence we’ll lean

      Every time in the end we will see

The pain or struggle is what had to be  

      With every trial is something learned

      Even if we hate the way things turned

What we want may not be what we need   

Keep a fertile heart so He can plant His seeds

     Always He will refine our soul

Admittedly sometimes with a heavy toll

    Remembering there is always a reason

    For each and every painful season

In the moment there can be such pain

Must ask ourselves in this what can we gain

         Divine directive

                Perhaps a fresh perspective

     At times we simply may not know

     What His Spirit is trying to show

To walk in faith with Him above

Our main objective must be to love

  

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Hope

Hope

     I’ve walked so aimlessly through life

A heart filled with love but producing strife

         It was never my intention

  To be a man of such internal contention

              Peace and rage

                 Love and hate

       Can’t allow this battle to be my fate

As of now I must choose a path

The direction contrary to self imposed wrath

        To stew in all the evil done

        Feels identical to nibbling on a gun

In that choice there is no hope

I’m tired of being on that downward slope

Further and faster down it went

Finally hit the point where I’m just spent

       Deciding that it can’t go on

           Already all I love is gone

It doesn’t have to be for good

Finally this I understood

         Unfortunately I can’t go back

            But I can start on the right track

       Each decision

            Every choice made

                 Slowly hopelessness will fade

Never again to be who I became

Final conclusion, I’m over that game

      Now I know what I must do

       With His help I can be brand new

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Blessed

Blessed

So many things I took for granted

The view of my world was ignorantly slanted

         What is

             What could of been

My lack of gratitude I’m beginning to see

      Changing this perspective is setting me free

The lifetime of miserable knots that entangled

Where most of my life I felt strangled

         They kept me shackled

                They kept me down

Now I stop, breath and truly look around

      Pondering how bad it really could be

Easiest to take for granted the fact I can see

   Due to relationships I have blown

   I’d complain to myself that I’m all alone

           This pity party just isn’t fair

    Upon reflection I have many that care

                    Some long lasting

                          Some brand new

Remembering the positive is what I must do

            This now I see

                       I understand

It’s all thanks to the loving Father’s hand

                   I should be in prison

                           I should be dead

But I’m on my millionth second chance instead

       Thank You Lord for Your grace

              Your loving hand

I praise God that now this I understand

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Revelation

Revelation

 Not focusing that my life is in ruin

Concentrating on the positive I’m doing

      Nothing monumental or grand

     Every day,each decision learning to be a man

        Shown in action by each choice

        Not empty promises conveyed by my voice

    Doing good, doing right everyday

    Simply enough keeps my chaos at bay

Trying to understand why self destruction held me so tight

    With everyone, but mostly me I would fight

        Such past tramas and pain in tow

        Little by little learning to let those things go

Self imposed shackles that kept me down

Living my life with a somber tattooed frown

          It’s no way to live

               To simply exist

In my life so many beautiful things missed

              The growth of my kids

                  The embrace of my wife

Because of my doing it’s been a miserable life

      Worst part I’ve been given so many blessings

      No matter how good I’d continue my stressing

         Once upon a time I literally had my dream

       It didn’t stop my discontented stream

               I had it all

It didn’t matter, further and further I’d fall

Now that everything is gone I finally see

    It’s because I couldn’t forgive myself

        That’s why I never felt free

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Self Love

Self Love

Self love has always been a mystery to me

Perhaps from past tramas I had to experience and see

     Intellectually I know it’s the key

     The blurry reality that can set me free

           How do I let go

           Simply to let the real me show

   Not the mask of indifference

       Or a smoke screen that I don’t care

              The love I have for others with myself I need to share

        If this enigma I cannot solve

        All that’ll happen is I’ll continue to dissolve

            I have a big heart

                I care about you

     But when it comes to myself I just don’t know what to do

       From regret to self hatred I’m desperate to be free

       Daily prayers that one day I will see

To awknowledge that I’m worthy of love

This wisdom I seek can only come from above

    To truly believe that I am a new man

    This the only way I believe that I can

On the surface it sounds so damn easy

When I think of self compassion truly it makes me feel queezy

    This is my journey

         The road that I am on

To find that self love & all self loathing be gone

    Is it possible,  I honestly don’t know

    But what I do know is the past I must let go

          I’m determined to experience this

So no longer self love am I condemned to continue to miss

    Is this possible, I really don’t know

This hope I seek, I guess only time will show

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Realizing Reality

Realizing Reality

     Sometimes the pain seems too great

     Truly coming to terms with your fate

Worst part is we were warned again & again

By those who’ve given up…that we once called our friend

     By no means is this a pity party

     My eye opening reality was just a bit tardy 

          Remembering my life’s calling

          Has stopped my tragic falling

Keeping our eyes fixed on Him

Illuminating a life that became so damn dim

     Remembering so clearly it’s not about me but about you

     All I’m called to do is share my journey and what NOT to do

         Don’t take things for granted 

               Don’t live for selfish desire

      The secret is no secret be inspired by Holy Spirit’s fire

Nothing and noone is willing to wait forever

Don’t be fooled, none of us are that clever 

     To hide our secrets or our shady stuff 

     When we believe that lie believe me life gets freakin rough

           But we mustn’t give up

           Due to a past life that was corrupt

Each passing moment we can turned it all around

This is the reality in my struggles I have found 

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Troublesome People

Troublesome People

Fifty but acting twelve

Animosity & drama where he tries to delve

Randomly, but a constant fight

Holding my peace keeping my goals in sight

Insults & chaos where he continues to go

My opportunity to let Holy Spirit flow

Crash course in dealing with bull crap

Conditioning myself to avoid a snap

Once a cancerous pattern of my past

I’m determined to have my progress last

I refuse to regress

Just because of this ridiculous stress

I’m proud of maintaining my peace

Though the instigating just doesn’t cease

If I learn to navigate jerks in this life

How much better I can be for my wife

God allows everything for a reason

Especially in the midst of a difficult season

Practicing by refusing to engage

Every episode the victor over destructive rage

So proud I’ve maintained my peace

With consistency, my past patterns will cease

This progress lagit does excite me

On my way to being who I want to be

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Self Inflicted Perspective

My time-line doesn’t matter

Recollected flashes

Moments magnified by the entirety

Minimized by the moments

Juvenile jests made clear

FEAR

nothing more

Simplicity complicates Simplicity

to me

You?

don’t know

Suddenly awake

Aware of internal animosity

At me

….always me

Most would disagee

Outward appearance

a fiscade

So cleverly orchestrated

i was my lie

To cope

Sincerely believed

Truth shattered lies

Lies diluted perception of truth

No more

Or…..