My embarrassing admission 

I got lost

Booze

Dope

Dad’s agonizing death

My kids disappeared in tail lights

Perhaps 

Maybe just lights turned on

Pained cats get it

Sometimes it’s all we got

Then chaos hits

Wait

It was there forever 

Then nothing 

Just screaming walls

Then nothing 

Then 4 kids blitz

Then nothing 

Sudden no…38 years

I want to blame you 

Them

Anyone 

Just me

Then what