Faith in Fear

      Everyday I can’t help but wonder

      Will the day come she forgives my blunders

          Each and every freaking mistake

          So much faith on her it would take

   I don’t even know how it’ll go

        Like the past

             Another chance would I blow?

   I prefer to think not

       If I had one more shot

It’s hard for me to live day by day

What’ll happen tomorrow I really can’t say

    During this period I’ve done no wrong

    Each choice I’ve made I’ve managed to be strong

Is the day coming where I’ll do something dumb?

This looming worry echoes like a sad songs strum

     I can’t live in that fear

Especially now cause I let His Spirit steer

     Every minute we have a choice

           Do what we want

              Or listen to His voice

For me I will continue to choose the latter

In this, fear is extinguished

      His Truth all that matters

Will I ever get my version of gold

I must keep the faith and just let things unfold

Shame, Heartbreak and Broken

Where’d she go!?
    choking on my heart
Frantic to remove it
 Where’s that knife?
Wait…
    I believe it’s still in my back

NO RELIEF!!!

….. guilt trips
     Woes me!?…..
          NO!!
       I only blame me, same as you
   Rest easy princess
Still punishing myself
Take solace in my devastation
    Your help isn’t needed
   ……do you hate me so?
 did all the love dissolve away?
      leaving only a spiteful residue
    Though it seems you forgot
         Loyalty
     pain
        ME…..
If change was with ease
   I wouldn’t have lost my All
    I can’t help who I am
    I tried for you….
I failed.         
……   you gotta set me free


Written by: Justin Ludwig sometime between 1999-2012