New Path

New Path

       Reconnection with Keegan

                 It fills my heart

Far too long my illness kept us apart

  Wake up to a text simply saying “good job dad”

   Instantly dissolved me feeling so sad

I’m no fool, I got a long way to go

These random blessings Holy Spirit does show

     “Justin keep on this path”

     “you don’t have to suffer in that brutal aftermath”

     “I can change it all, you just remain willing”

     “I will continue with my Holy Spirit’s filling”

In days prior I was blind, unable to see

That it is possible, He can & will set me free

   Day by day such downs and ups

I just must choose none of those things that corrupts

    My life, mind, body and spirit

    Accepting it’s OK not to know, I don’t need to fear it

    Simply embracing these new connections

Avoiding my sick minds destructive dissections

     Always expecting the worst

     This self fulfilling prophecy has always been my curse

Finally ready to do something new

One foot in front of the other is all I must do

Written by: Justin Ludwig

    

God’s Loving Reminder

God’s Loving Reminder

When I heavily began to lose hope

God seems to look at me, smile & say “nope”

    “My child, don’t forget who I Am”

       ” I Am the God who can”

           “I can heal”

               ” I can restore “

“Stay on My path and I can reconcile what you adore “

      “your kids”

           “your wife”

             “Everything good lost in your life”

“I can and will heal your inner strife”

       “At times it will be hard”

        “My process sometimes will hurt”

“Because I Am scrubbing you clean from a lifetime of dirt”

     “Don’t think too much”

        “Just trust Me”

“Follow and obey My voice & one day you’ll see”

    Holy Spirit reminded me of this today

    No matter what on His path I must stay

         This reminder I NEEDED to hear

      As soon as I heard Him I shifted gears

My faith in Him I won’t let go or release

His voice, this reminder gave me peace

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Growth not Regret

Exhausted of living in regret

Past mistakes doesn’t mean my future’s set

All I have is today

This mindset is where I must stay

Letting go of my past

Only way that the hope I have’ll last

Question is how I’ll do this

Letting go of all that I miss

This order seems so damn tall

Given how far I did fall

I must rest in His grace

Staying grateful in this place

How well will it go

This I simply don’t know

This being the place I am in

Growing past a life of sin

Recognizing this’ll take time

Washing off my past grime

Knowing I’ll have help from His Spirit

This is why I refuse to fear it

Written by: Justin Ludwig

Healing Struggle

Healing Struggle

Sudden tidal wave of hurt

Momentarily unable to skirt

Climbing a steep icy hill

So many bad things I feel

Desperate to grow out of this

Simply accepting things that I miss

People that I had

Being an active dad

Things just are what they are

Seeing that I’ve fallen so far

Determined to keep pushing on

Praying for that beautiful new dawn

Knowing there’ll be days good and bad

Right now, fuck I feel sad

I must remain hungry and humble

Especially when my thoughts start to mumble

Remaining open and real

Constructively sharing how I feel

Constantly continuing to grow

My raw vulnerable self I must show

One step then the next

Seeking truth when I feel vexed

Faith one day I’ll reach my goal

The long sought after peace in my soul

Dreams Taunt

Dreams Taunt

Dreams….

Some achieve the impossible

Others practical

The rest are tainted

Ghosts just below a whisper

Outskirts of memory

Panic protects

Why?

Can’t be remembered

Can’t let it go

Memory flickers

Insufficiently retained

Enough to torment

Fear,

Rooted in fear

Fear of what will

What is

What was…..

Times range entangled by guilt

Blurred into eternity

Can’t be seen

Instead

Believed

Felt

….accomplished

Birth Days

The brilliance

emerges over unfamiliar fields

Seemingly unmoving, it rises

It’s Beauty tainted

Always by the familiar

Ushering in the repetition

my heart Cries out

How do i know?

When each thought

every feeling

Overlapping in an instant

so fast…..

A blur of Hope, wrapped in frustration

i long for what waits

So wait,

Rising

rising, rising

All the while the melody flows

another and again

Searching for what’s already obtained

Still I sit

still yet frantic

Written by: Justin Ludwig

God’s Timing 

God’s timing can be be frustrating and at times scary, but it is always perfect. 

In those periods of waiting or silence remember, God must work in us before He can work through us. Holy Spirit needs to build our character in order to prepare us to be able to handle what He has planned for each one of us. I am not preaching, but if I was it is as much to myself as anyone else. We must stay the course and trust God, because He is trustworthy. Be blessed and love well my friends.

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

Trust Beyond You

​You know, I was just thinking…. I was thinking of a man of faith who isn’t really recognized all that much, and that is Joseph, husband to Mary and step Father to Jesus. This man wasn’t married to Mary yet, they had never slept together and he gets hit with the news that his future bride is pregnant. Not only is she pregnant, but he is told she has been inpregnated by Holy Spirit. 

I don’t know about you, but if I were Joseph, I would have a hard time processing that information. There is no way that he wasn’t even the least bit suspicious that Mary had slept with someone else….. 

How easily Joseph could have bailed on Mary if he was a man without faith. For myself, if I didn’t know how the story played out….if I hadn’t had so many very real experiences with Holy Spirit I honestly don’t think I would have or could have believed what had happened. 

But Joseph chose to believe…. he chose to believe that God was working and that He was more than capable of doing something beyond Joseph’s understanding….. what if Joseph chose to bail? Say he did choose to believe the worst, he leaves her and Mary dies not being able to take care of herself and as a result Christ wasn’t born.

It really is amazing if you think about it. A man who really didn’t play a huge role in the story was in fact crucial to it. If he did not chose to believe God past his own understanding, we could still be living in darkness, waiting for the Messiah that was able to come because Joseph believed. I don’t know about you, but I find that very encouraging.

Don’t be fooled into thinking your role isn’t important. If we chose to trust God beyond what we can explain, understand or feel, then He will use us. 

So I guess my question is, Do you believe? 

Written by: Justin Ludwig 

I Trust So I Wait 

What do I do

  What do I do?

     What! 

Frantic conflict

 Peaceful…… fear

   Terrified, but with hope 

Letting go …..

    I have to do something!

  ……”wait”

      Waiting

Accomplished only by the determined

  Attacks 

      Lies and pain

 Ensured so endured 

Truest test of faith

 …..waiting 

From my core …. I believe 

…. but he pain does not subside 

What do I do!

   Trust

I do, but……..

Written by: Justin Ludwig